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“Angel,” I whisper to the empty room, as the planks of the barnboard creak with the movement of my weight, back and forth, back and forth. It only takes a few strokes before I spurt. The semen comes out fast and in thick ropes. All for her, her little mouth, her innocent sex. Imagining breaching her own little knot of skin in back.
When I catch my breath, I pull up my pants and quickly clean myself up.
The power this girl has is something fierce. I have to sit down and think all this over with a clear head. If there’s any other way to save the Family, if Silas won’t agree to let her go.
But first I grab my secret stash of whiskey from the hiding place under one of the planks, and take a swig straight from the bottle. The images of Dustin’s men taking Angel for themselves is intruding on my good feelings, and drink is the only way to dull the jealousy that roars inside.
Angel
“I want you to tell me absolutely everything before Mary gets here!”
Mama comes into the kitchen trying to smile, but
it looks thin and strained. She doesn’t want to reveal just how tense she really is. I just smile and take the basket of vegetables from her arms. They're still covered in dirt from the garden and give off that pungent, earthy smell of pollen and crushed leaves.
“Now, Mama, you know I can't do that. The ceremony is sacred! I can't just go blabbing all the details…”
She raises her eyebrows at me, something which normally carries some weight. But as of this morning, it doesn't seem to matter quite as much. I'm a woman now. Soon I will have my own house. My own Master. I will have all the rights and privileges of every other woman in the Family, and I can see that she knows that too.
“But it's just so… out of the ordinary!” she continues, trying to sound breezy. “Why were you alone with them? What did they say?”
“We’re here!” I hear voices from the front door. I shrug at Mama and sweep away, ready to greet the other aunties.
Annie comes in with a parcel of meat wrapped in brown paper. She holds it under one arm proudly, as though she might have slaughtered it herself. We all know that's not true. Annie's not that ambitious.
“That looks at a lot!” I gasp, like I'm supposed to. She smiles broadly at the compliment.
“Well,” Annie winks knowingly, “I bet you worked up quite an appetite, Angel… wait, what's your new name?”
Her brow furrows for a moment. I don't say anything. I just smile, letting them all wonder about it. Mary pushes forward, squinting at me curiously. I feel Mama come up behind me and Agatha sniffling from the back of the group. She has allergies.
“Wait, I want to guess!” Annie announces. “Henrietta? No? Magdalene maybe?”
I smirk at her, appreciating the insult. But I don't care anymore. What do her insults matter to me?
I take the meat parcel from her hands and wander back to the kitchen, letting them follow behind me. I do that sort of thing now, just lead the way when I feel like it. It feels pretty good.
“Wait, I know! What was the name of that old hag in the test Old Testament… hold on…”
“Oh, Annie, shut up,” Mary scoffs impatiently. “Just let her tell us. Enough of your silliness.”
Agatha moves the kitchen table away from the wall so we can all sit around it and prep the meat and vegetables for the dinner. It'll be us and Father Daddy. He'll officially announce my womanhood, perhaps maybe even name my new Master.
New Master? Something about that seems wrong. If I had to say I had a Master… I would say Father Daddy.
Or Brother Owen…
Or maybe both.
The thought gives me a quick little thrill, and my womanhood does a tiny flip-flop in my belly. Yes, I'm going to make very good friends with that part of me.
Which makes me wonder… do all these women have that too? Is that the big secret they’ve been withholding from me all these years? What else do I not know?
But you can't tell by looking from the outside. Mary looks like she swallowed a wedge of lemon years ago and it is still lodged in her throat. I can’t imagine her ever kissing a man, being naked with a man, groaning as he… Oh, wow.
“Just tell us already,” she bawls.
I shrug one shoulder. “Angel.”
