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I nod, biting back an acidic surge of what must be jealousy.
We step toward the back door, and he hovers over me protectively, keeping his back turned to Mary and her nosy glare.
“So are you all right here?” he asks me. His voice is tender, subdued. I try to use that to push back the dark thoughts in my heart. But why is he being so nice to Tulip?
“Yes, it's a very interesting duty,” I reply, trying to smile. I want to reconnect with him, to make sure our union is still vivid and solid. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it.
“Silas would like for us to meet tonight, again, at dusk. Will that be all right?”
I take a deep breath. I have nothing to worry about, I tell myself. They still want to train me. My purpose in life — and love — is yet to be revealed.
“Yes, of course,” I breathe. I lean closer to him, just a little, so that he knows how excited I am about it.
He rewards me with another tender smile. I can tell he wants to touch me in some way, but it's not going to be possible here.
“Until then,” he finally says. He strides back out of the room, allowing the screen door to bang shut behind him.
“Back to work!” Mary barks as soon as he's off the porch. She drags the paperback out from beneath her buttocks and scowls at it as she tries to find her place again.
“Yes, Mary!” Tulip sighs, rolling her eyes since Mary is not looking at us.
I resume my place and Tulips leans slightly over the table. “What was all of that about?” she asks me in an excited whisper.
“Oh, Father Daddy has a… job for me,” I answer quickly, aware of how thin and pathetic the lie sounds. She hears it too and twists her lips in a scowl.
“Fine, don't tell me,” she huffs as she pulls a nearly transparent nightgown from the next bag. She holds it up and glares at it in surprise before crumpling it into a ball and stuffing it into the bag next to her feet. “I'll just ask them at my ceremony. Then I’ll know all of the woman secrets, won't I?”
My mouth falls open a little bit. “Your ceremony?” I repeat stupidly.
She blushes immediately, breaking into a wide smile. “Yes, it's next week! Can you believe it? It's finally happening!”
Jealousy floods me. I can feel it seeping through every part of me like a dark yellow stain. It crawls over my skin. I very much want to say something mean.
“Why don’t you call Mary ‘mama?’” I hiss back at her. I don't know why, it just pops into my mind.
She flinches. I know she wanted me to congratulate her, and I should have.
“Because Mary isn't my mother,” she mutters, looking down. “My mother isn’t here anymore.”
“Really? Where did she go?”
Tulip casts her weight to one hip, suddenly saucy.
“They sold her.”
I blink. She just blurted it right out, just like that. I didn't mean to start this conversation, but now here it is.
“Sold her?”
I see the anger rising in her like a blush that spreads across her cheeks. Her eyes glint dangerously. “Yes, to pay our debt. After they took her in, the sheriff came and arrested her for something else… something before our time here. I was just a baby. Father Daddy paid the bail, and she needed to pay it back. So…”
I shake my head. This is not all making sense to me now. Sold her? To pay a debt?
“Who would buy a woman?” I ask.
“Lots of people would buy a woman. Men need women. You know that.”
“Did you ever see her again?” I ask more softly.
