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“Me too, Elle.” I patted her back as I said the words. They were the right thing to say, but I didn’t know if they were true yet. I was glad to help Elle if I could, but I didn’t know if being in the Hudsons’ apartment was a good idea. I clearly wasn’t over the crush I’d had on Mr. Hudson, which was more dangerous than ever. Even if he didn’t feel the same, and how could he—he shouldn’t!—I could still get my heart broken from the desperate hope and the disappointment which was inevitable.
CHAPTER 5
BEN
O h, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
This wasn’t good at all. She was supposed to be a chubby, bespectacled board of a girl, not a curvy, smoking-hot young woman. Her chubbiness had melted to glorious curves that needed caressing while I drove myself inside her slick heat. The kind of curves that would provide the perfect amount of cushioning while thrusting into her.
I forced myself to look away and take several deep breaths while she and Elle were reacquainted. This was a disaster, but I couldn’t lose focus or reveal any hint of what I was thinking. The last thing I needed to do was scare her away, and if I came across as a creepy old lech, she wouldn’t stick around no matter how much she liked Elle.
When there was a lull in the moment my daughter and the nanny were sharing, I took a step closer and held out my hand. When she accepted it, I had to bite back a groan at the arc of electricity that zinged my palm. “Thank you for helping us out, Lindsay. I’m sorry for the short notice.”
She smiled, and the shyness there was somehow infinitely more seductive than the open flirtation I was accustomed to from women who wanted me.
“I’m happy to help, and this was an unexpected opportunity for me. Mr. Baylor said—”
I held up a finger. “Hold that thought, if you don’t mind. We’ll talk about everything very soon, but we’re on our typical morning deadline. Elle needs to have breakfast so the driver can take her to school, and there’s not much time left.”
“You aren’t coming?” asked Elle with a frown of concern.
I looked down at my daughter. “I had planned to stay here and work out details with Lindsay before she settles in.”
She bit her lip, anxiety evident in her ocean-blue eyes. “Couldn’t you both come with me and talk in the limo?”
I arched a brow at Lindsay. “Do you have classes this morning?”
“Not until eleven a.m. today, Mr. Hudson.”
“Please call me Ben. You’re an adult now, so we don’t need to be so formal.” Though the thought of her calling me Mr. Hudson while I fucked her was making my cock twitch.
I shouldn’t be thinking such things. I most especially shouldn’t be contemplating pinning her to the wall and taking her in one deep thrust. I cleared my throat when Elle touched my hand. I must have checked out of the conversation for a moment there. “I think that would be fine, then, honey.”
With a little bounce, Elle turned from me with Lindsay following. I reached out, hand hovering at the small of Lindsay’s back, without bridging the distance. Electricity still pulsed between us. I couldn’t afford even a slight touch, or I’d want it all. So much more, and she was completely forbidden. Lindsay was there for Elle’s emotional well-being, not as my sex toy.
Young women like her didn’t know how to play the sex-only-for-pleasure game, and I wasn’t going to make the mistake of having another relationship. Ashe had cost me more than I’d ever expected, and way more than financially. I’d lost the ability to trust, let alone love, someone again. Lindsay deserved better than a quick fuck, and that was all I had to offer.
After breakfast, the three of us slid into the limo. It was utter stupidity on my part, but I couldn’t help arranging it so Lindsay was between Elle and me. Her thigh pressed against mine, and though her skirt was modest, it had ridden up enough to give me a good view of about four inches of thigh above the knee. Even as I felt ridiculous, I was getting hard at the sight of her creamy flesh. It felt like I was just discovering girls and stealing my mom’s lingerie catalog, the way the blood was running from my brain and straight to my cock.
She looked at me right then, and I blushed like a teenager. For fuck’s sake, what was wrong with me? Lindsay looked puzzled, but I was certain her pupils were dilated, and she seemed to be breathing heavier than a quick elevator ride and short walk to the car would excuse. If she was half as turned on as I was, this arrangement would be in deep trouble. How could I resist?
“Dad said you’re going to stay for a long time, Lindsay. Is that true?”
Elle asked the question with such
mistrust, but blind hope, that it made my chest clench. It also reminded me of exactly why I had to resist the desire pulsing through me, even if I hadn’t yet figured out how to do so.
“We’ll have to see how it goes. You might get tired of me, sweetie. I’ve never been a nanny before.”
Elle’s eyes widened, and she seemed on the verge of tears. “I won’t get tired of you, but you’re just going to leave me like everyone else.” She almost shouted the accusation as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
“That’s enough,” I said sternly. “Lindsay is here to help you, so please be kind.”
Lindsay shot me a look I couldn’t quite decipher, but it seemed to be full of censure. What? I was trying to keep Elle from hurting her feelings—and yes, from spurring her to run away and never look back. I couldn’t help hoping Elle would either be less difficult, or at least unleash it in stages. If not, I wasn’t sure the young woman whose lovely, creamy thigh pressed against me would be able to handle it. As she’d said, she wasn’t a nanny and definitely wasn’t trained in how to deal with problem children.
“I have no plans to leave for a long while, Elle,” said Lindsay as she took her hand. She ignored my daughter’s resistance. “I just want you to know that if this isn’t working out, and you aren’t happy with the situation, you can tell me to leave. No hard feelings.”
Elle looked at her with such hope in her eyes that I was afraid Lindsay’s departure might completely devastate her. It wasn’t fair that her mental state hinged on the commitment ability of an eighteen-year-old. Nor was it fair to Lindsay to be stuck in that position. The least I could do was avoid muddying the waters by allowing a hint of the attraction that burned through me to show.
