Page 54 of Save Me, Sinners


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I almost want to laugh. I know this pose from long ago, back when she was all elbows and attitude. The junkie with a toddler who we took in, not even realizing all the trouble she was going to bring with her. Everything she would cost us. She's barely ever said thank you.… Just one of these women who thinks the world owes her something.

“What is it I'm supposed to help you with? I don’t have anything left to give you, as you well know.”

I take a couple of deep breaths. All the way over here, I planned what I was going to say. How I'd explain. But there's barely any time left.

“We want you to run the church from now on.”

Her eyebrows go up. She crosses her arms in front of her chest and starts tapping her fingers. I can tell she's interested, but somehow she thinks can negotiate for a better position than what I've just said.

“Why on earth would I want to do that?”

“Oh, come on, Melissa. You've always wanted… never mind. But you'll be great at it. You have natural leadership abilities. You’re gifted.”

“Finally, a little respect!” she sniffs. “And what brought you this great revelation, Owen? You get hit by lightning on the way over here or something?”

“No, it just fits,” I admit, though I don't think she will know exactly what I mean. “Listen, Sheriff Dooley is going to be here in about ten minutes. The guys from Dustin’s will probably be here about ten minutes after that, assuming they don’t get their acts together sooner. I'm hoping to be gone eighteen minutes by then. You understand me?”

“Not really,” she stalls. She's making me angrier than a woman should. She's been on my nerves for a very long time, and I feel it all catching up to me now.

Silas always showed her favoritism. I don't know why. He felt sorry for her, I guess. Or he still believed so hard that God worked through him, that he picked the hardest luck case he could find. If he could help Melissa, who was practically irretrievable. then he really was doing God's work.

She made him suffer, too. And he loved it. Like suffering was proof of how hard he was working, how nobly he believed.

But I can see it now, even if he can’t. The real proof is Angel, not this bitter old witch. The best thing she ever did was Angel. And with the way she treats her own daughter, the best thing we can do is get her the hell out of here.

“When the sheriff gets here, all you gotta do is explain this is private property. This is your property. And none of Dustin’s boys can get let in here. You just tell them me and Silas are gone. You don't know where. You tell him that, and everything will be okay.”

“And why is the Sheriff gonna believe me?”

“Oh, I don't know, Melissa… maybe because you've been fuckin’ him for the last ten years?”

She gasps. “How dare you! How can you just come in here and —”

“You know, I'd love to stay here and argue about this, but I gotta get going,” I cut her off. “It's not a big secret, Melissa. Everybody knows where you get the booze and the pills. But it’s turning out lucky — your relationship with Dooley will make this all go a lot easier. You hear what I’m saying? You can make it sound like it was a big strategy the whole time. You could do this, Melissa. They'll all call you Mother.”

“Mother Melissa?” she repeats, mulling it over by letting the word slip around her mouth. I'm winning her over. I can tell.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Things are going to change around here, I tell you that!” she huffs excitedly. “First of all, Mary's going to hear a piece my mind. That's for sure! And I'm gonna pick the Masters. You boys don't know what you're doing!”

“I'll leave the deed on the desk for you. Good luck,” I add as I walk back out of the house.

Practically sprinting to Silas's office, I make a mental list of all the things I have to get. Deeds, what little cash reserves we managed to scrape up. I need to look for the stash of the valuables people donated over the years, or gave over when they joined the Family. Maybe something will turn up.

For just a second, I want to find him. I can’t believe Silas would cut me out like this. After everything I’ve done, how I gave my whole life to his crazy, cultish obsessions… And he just tosses me aside.

But I can’t think about that now. If Dooley or Dustin get to me, I’m finished. I’ll figure out where I’m going once my wheels hit the asphalt again.

I rummage through the desk with the lights off, trying to not to attract attention. I took way too long negotiating with Melissa, and right now I figure I’ve got about forty seconds before I need to get on my bike and get the hell out here.

He told me not to go with him. So I get to take everything? I know he grabbed the cash, but what are they going to do now?

But he doesn’t want me there, I remind myself again. And now I don't know any way to contact him. I’m just going to have to let it be.

In the bottom of the right hand desk drawer, is a false panel that pushes aside. I knew it all had to be here. I grab handfuls of cash, gold watches, pearls, whatever's in there. Way at the back is two envelopes with assorted papers. One I leave right in the middle of the desk for Melissa to find. It’s the deed and Silas’ original Kingdom Come notes. Every plan he ever had, all his dreams laid out in writing.

I’m sure she’ll burn that.

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