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Glancing at her, Jude said, “My sensei designed that. Symbolic in a few ways. One of which is that it’s meant to have my back.”
“It’s really beautiful, Jude.” The dragon’s vibrant green eyes glowed hypnotically, compellingly. Vigilantly.
Jude told her, “Dragon’s represent power and strength. While my sensei thought I epitomized those traits as well, at that juncture of my life, I had to strive—internally—to be worthy of them calling me The Dragon at the gym where I trained, and when I fought.”
“You were in a dark place, mentally. Broken.”
“Yes,” he murmured.
Her fingertips traced the tattoo, but her other hand slipped around his side to his chest. Kate leaned into him and kissed Jude’s nape.
His hand covered hers on his pecs.
“I like when you touch me, Kate. I like how you touch me. As though you need to. It’s not tentative; it’s confident.”
“I can’t help myself. You’re irresistible, Jude.”
He said, “You didn’t hear me asking you to stop, did you?”
Her lips trailed along his neck and over his shoulder. Kate rested her cheek against his hot skin and sighed.
“What was that for?” Jude gently prompted.
“I was just thinking of the first time we met. The first time you walked into my office. There was so much about you that I noticed, it was almost overwhelming. For a moment, I had this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I wasn’t going to be able to help you. It was so odd…I didn’t even know yet what, specifically, was eating away at you. I just knew, innately, it was something vicious.”
“Piranhas attacking my soul.”
“Exactly. All it took was one look at you to see that and it was…foreboding. I mean, here was this strapping, chiseled man standing before me—obviously physically commanding, regardless of the split lip and the swollen, black and blue eye. The wrist in a cast…”
Jude snickered. “Quite a sight I must’ve been.”
“You were,” she contended. “In ways I couldn’t fully process. You told me you’d just been in a fight—a professional one. And that you were the victor…but you didn’t appear the least bit triumphant. You were so…hollow.”
Her heart constricted at the memory. Emotion washed over her.
She said, “Your eyes were devoid of anything other than fury. The kind of rage I couldn’t even begin to comprehend.”
“I’d thought fighting would somehow save me. That if I kept beating the hell out of guys—who willingly took me on—and I kept pushing my body to the limit, I’d eventually be so drained, I wouldn’t feel a goddamn thing. Not a thing.”
Kate’s eyes watered. “No one should ever be that emotionally destroyed,” she whispered.
“People are that emotionally destroyed all the time, Kate.”
“I know.” Her lids closed for a moment, the tears seeping out of the corners.
Jude squeezed her hand at his chest. “Don’t cry. Not for me.”
“I did cry, Jude. For you.”
“Kate.” His tone was tinged with anguish and disconcertion. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I believe that, Jude. You were virtually decimated, and all I could think was how could one human being do this to another one? The cheating…that’s something to consider. After reading Annalise’s journal, I was enough in her head to understand her insecurities. And because I was getting to know you at the time, because I had the visual of you, I could acknowledge why she’d have doubts about—”
“Kate,” he repeated…more insistently.
Kate didn’t back down, though tears tumbled along her cheeks. She confessed, “I could accept why Annalise feared she’d never be enough for you, Jude. Why she questioned how she’d ended up being the lucky woman you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. She put you on a pedestal, Jude. And never believed in her heart she’d live up to everything you needed and deserved. She couldn’t find enough positive things about herself to feel worthy of you.”
“I never once planted seeds of doubt,” he angrily growled in a low voice.
