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Kate lifted her chin, despite her heavy heart. She said, “Jude and I aren’t getting married. We’re not even a cou—”
“Kate has a crucial undertaking that demands her full focus right now,” Jude interjected. “Tell them, Kate. Tell them everything.”
She d
id. Without further preamble, ado, prompting… She laid it all on the table, including the additional security measures Nikki had mentioned earlier. Kate blanketed every aspect to the nth degree…with high hopes no one would have a single question.
That was a preposterous aspiration, she knew.
Once she stopped talking, everyone else jumped in. She waded through the minutia, with Nikki as backup to confirm everything Kate meticulously explained. And in her peripheral vision, Kate saw Jude standing off to the side, nodding his head. Not judging. Not discounting. Not looking for a single thing to refute or rebuff.
He truly was there to support her.
When the perplexity of not being able to further dissect Kate’s decision set in, her family opted to discuss the whole matter amongst themselves, as though that would somehow help them to sort it all out.
Kate gave Nikki a hug. “Thank you. Hearing affirmations and validations from you goes a long way.”
“You did a great job, Kate. I think—”
“I still don’t understand!” Kate’s mother finally cried out, bringing a screeching halt to the verbal debates. “I just… I don’t understand.” Glaring at Kate, she demanded, “Why would you do this? Why would you willingly do this?”
“Mother, I know it’s complicated, but we can learn a lot from the military psychiatrists entrenched in combat-related scenarios. That won’t be us, inevitably, no. But there’s a similarity to draw upon when it comes to disaster psychiatry. Variables that will help us to help others, so they can begin coping immediately and reduce the chances of long-term issues and consequences.”
“But Afghanistan? People die over there, Kathryn! Why in heavens name would you put your own life in danger? For what reason? For what purpose?” Tears popped up on the rims of her eyes as she continued to stare at Kate.
Kate’s own tears suddenly stung the backs of her eyes. “Mother. People do die over there. People die here, too. Sometimes because they choose to. If I can assist them in making a different choice, overcome trauma and depression and—”
“It’s not for you to decide, Kathryn!” her mother now shouted.
Kate swallowed down a lump of emotion and strove for an even tone as she said, “No, it’s not for me to decide. It is for me to offer options…ways to deal with trauma…solutions that don’t lead to suicide…reasons to choose life over death.”
“You never should have gone into this profession!” her mother exclaimed as the tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. “You never should have pursued this, Kathryn. You had a good life ahead of you—a marriage in the making with a man who would have provided for you so that you didn’t have to—”
“Jesus, Mom!” Kate unexpectedly exploded. “I don’t love Andrew Lexington! I never did—I never will! You have got to get over—”
“Kate.” Nikki rested a hand on Kate’s shoulder.
But it was Jude who stepped forward and said, “She does have a good life ahead of her, Mrs. Stockman. Kate has had a good life so far. You might not agree with her career decisions, but she did make the right one. I’m living proof. I’m standing here before you all because of Dr. Kate Stockman. I’m not some random man she met and took to a party at The Plaza. I’m her patient. A former patient, but still…” Jude’s gaze flashed to Kate and he gave her a sincere, appreciative smile.
Addressing her family again, he said, “I was on the brink. My fiancée committed suicide right before my very eyes. She walked into the room, said my name and pulled a trigger. I had no time to react. No time to stop her. No time or recourse or pause button to hit. It was over that fast.” He snapped his fingers. “Can you imagine?”
Kate’s mother took a step back, toward her husband. Evan Stockman said, “That must have been horrific.”
“Imagine where that would leave you, Dr. Stockman,” Jude steadily challenged.
Kate’s father’s gaze dropped to her mother. Who still gaped as tears streamed down her face.
Lifting his eyes to Jude, Evan said, “I’d be heartbroken.”
“I was, too,” Jude confessed. “I was wrecked. In shock. Lost… Ready to take on the world with my fists, not caring what battered or even crippled mess I might be in the end. Not caring about any damn thing at all. Then I met Kate.”
Her breath caught. Her heart constricted.
Jude continued. “I saw her three times a week. Sometimes four. It was how I got through each day, each week. How I survived. Knowing Kate was just a phone call or an office visit away. Knowing I could tell her anything. Anything…” Raw emotion crept into his voice. “I could tell her everything that was killing me from the inside out…and Kate understood. She listened. She processed. She accepted. And she healed me. Me,” Jude added, squaring his shoulders. His jaw set. His breathing slowed to a normal pace. “She fixes everything inside me that goes haywire. She makes me stronger. She makes me thrive. She makes me want to live. Every single day, your daughter gives me a reason to live.”
Nikki’s grip on Kate tightened as Kate swayed slightly. The tears fell from her eyes and for a few moments, Kate couldn’t quite focus on anything. Her own emotions were so prickly, she could barely drag in a sliver of air.
Jude turned to her. “God, I love you.”
