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Nikki’s heart wrenched. “Jesus, what are you, a collector of lost souls?”
“No,” he firmly stated. “Because you are not one. And as tragic as my family is at the moment, they won’t always be like this. My mother has made great strides with group therapy. And Mads… She’s exceptionally gifted and loving and if I don’t get her a fucking puppy soon, all of the love trapped in that little girl’s heart is going to go to waste.”
“Damen,” Nikki breathed, tears instantly springing to her eyes.
“She has a therapist, Nik. What’s going on between you and me has nothing to do with the grief others under this roof are feeling. That is one-hundred percent not why I brought you here.”
“Why did you bring me here?” she quietly challenged as tears tumbled down her cheeks.
“Because you’re safe here,” he was quick to say. “No one’s penetrating this compound. Not even with a fucking helicopter. I have people who ensure that. And…” He swallowed hard before confessing, “I want you here, in my bed. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted here in this bed. With me. If you want to take this a step further… I wanted my bed to be the first one you slept in with another man who wasn’t your husband.”
His fingertips swept along her skin, whisking away tears.
“You don’t pretend he doesn’t exist,” she whispered. “Existed,” she corrected.
“Of course not.” Damen’s fingers combed through her hair. “Nik, he’s a huge part of your life. He’s a huge part of you. He’s not even an ethereal entity. He’s a hero to mankind—he’s your hero. And the fact that you stood by him even when you feared for his life—even when you selfishly wanted him by your side, rather than putting himself in dangerous situations—tells me that you love on a level I—” Damen’s voice cracked.
More tears spilled along Nikki’s cheeks. “Say it,” she painfully urged.
“I’m not sure many people can fathom the depth of your emotions,” he said.
“But you can.”
“Yes. I can.”
They stared at each other.
Neither spoke another word.
Nikki understood now why Damen would move heaven and earth to preserve her memories of Conner—because he’d want her to fight just as valiantly, as endlessly, for memories of him.
Her tears continued to fall.
Damen continued to brush them away.
Everything about the man was fierce and honest and…beautiful.
Absolutely breathtaking.
Nikki opened her mouth to speak, to say words lingering on her tongue.
They were scary words, because she feared what she might put out into the universe. What might happen if she admitted her deepest feelings.
But to not say them…
Damen whispered, “Tell me…anything, Nik. Everything. I don’t care. Just don’t ever feel as though you can’t confess a single thing to me. Even if it’s about Conner.”
“He won’t come between us, Damen,” she said.
“He could,” Damen cautioned.
“No. I’m not fearful of that. I’m just…”
“What?”
“I worry that… Some people never experience in their lifetime the incredible love I had with Conner. The endless devotion. The intense pull. And that’s tragic unto itself. Yet, losing that love is soul-shattering. To find something significant after you’ve put the pieces of yourself back together—”
“To find something significant after you’ve put the pieces of yourself back together, Nik. Say it correctly.”
