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“You can be an ass sometimes.”
“Sometimes.” He winked at her. Then he leaned down and brushed his lips gingerly across her forehead, suspecting even her lips ached from his fervent attention. “Sleep, okay? And I’ll be back tonight.”
“Will you?” she asked. Her eyes locked with his, searching them. Already anticipating his necessary lie.
“Yes.”
“I love you,” she said, clearly knowing the impact that would have on him. On his decision to leave her. If he allowed it to. “I always will. Forever. Even long after I’m gone.”
“And I’ll love you long after you’re gone.” A fate worse than death, actually.
Her mouth gaped. “I forgot…how the pain of loving someone no longer with you can haunt you for the rest of your existence. To mourn for them for centuries…” She shook her head, contrite. “I’m sorry. There’s absolutely no humor to be found in any of this, no matter how hard we try.”
She clutched the duvet to her bare chest and reminded him, with sorrow in her eyes, “Sun’s coming up.”
There would be shadows in the courtyard from the tall oak trees. But he needed to go now anyway. Before he caved. Before that forlorn look on her face and the idea of spending an eternity without her made him give into her request. It was what she thought she wanted. And even though he would give her anything she ever asked of him, this was one thing he had to hold his ground on. To turn her would be selfish and self-serving. And if she loathed him in the end, it’d kill him.
“Sleep,” he repeated, fighting back the wave of emotion that threatened to consume him as intensely as his passion had.
She settled deeper into the bed against the pile of plump pillows, closing her eyes and drawing a breath.
Cane turned to go. His clothes were downstairs. He’d collect them on his way out the west side door that faced his house. As he passed under the doorway of her bedroom, she whispered, “Promise me.”
“I promise.”
They both knew it was a vow he wouldn’t—couldn’t—keep.
Chapter Nine
The void within her was palpable. Painful. The worst kind of torture she’d ever known.
It had nothing to do with her sudden mortality and fragility and everything to do with losing Cane.
He wouldn’t come back for her. She knew he’d spend the day making arrangements and come nightfall he’d be long gone. Hadn’t that been her initial plan when she was immortal and thought him to be a mortal human being?
Ironic, indeed.
And the most horrific twist of fate.
Helplessness and despair crept up on her, two emotions she’d never indulged in. Had never allowed herself to be in a position to experience. She’d never wanted to lose her heart because this was the end result. It was impossible to make a relationship work when one was immortal and the other wasn’t. And it was even more complicated and dangerous because Cane was a vampire. He was deadly.
He was also her salvation.
Christ! As if she needed fate to mock her further!
Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to tamp down all the dismal feelings welling inside her. Tried to think, concentrate, focus. On finding a solution. Because there had to be one. How could two people love each other this passionately—physically as well as emotionally—and not find a way to be together?
He’s a vampire. You’re a mortal. Dream on.
No!
She’d never been the cynical type. She wouldn’t start now, even if the hourglass that was her life had been flipped over and the sand was slowly running out.
There had to be a way.
As she thought about Cane and the evening they’d spent together, the fiery intimacy they’d shared, she worried that her battered body would torment and haunt him. It was certainly an enormous wake-up call to know what her mortal body couldn’t withstand. Another point that was not in her favor.
As if she and Cane could make love delicately.
