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Tell him. She should tell him. He’d given her the perfect opportunity. But she couldn’t. Not today. She’d just saved a life and she didn’t want to besmirch it with bottom-line stuff.
‘I may just take you up on that.’
CHAPTER NINE
CARRIE drove to the clinic on Monday morning knowing that today was the day. It wasn’t fair to put it off any longer. She’d been over and over the figures all weekend and no matter how much she tried to present them in a good light, the truth was inescapable. The Valley Drop-In Centre was not financially viable.
It gave her a chill, just thinking about it. Charlie would be devastated. The centre was everything to him. She was so not looking forward to the conversation she needed to have with him first thing this morning.
Part of her wanted to chicken out. Leave the dirty work up to the board. Have the news arrive in one of those awful official yellow envelopes. But she knew she owed him more than that.
She couldn’t believe how much could change in a few short weeks. How much this assignment had affected her entire life. Before coming to the centre, she wouldn’t have thought twice about getting rid of something that wasn’t performing. It was, after all, taxpayers’ money they were playing with, entrusted with—serious stuff. And it wasn’t their place to waste it willy-nilly.
But trying to justify a venture like this on paper just didn’t take into account the human aspect. What the centre meant to the community it supported and what it would mean if it wasn’t around any longer. Whatever happened, she was going to make sure she stressed that in her final report.
But the real reason it was ripping her heart out was much more depressing. She had fallen in love with Charlie. The revelation had come last night as she’d been putting Dana to bed. Her daughter had hugged her and whispered, ‘I wish Charlie could be my daddy.’
And it had hit her. She wished he could be, too. Wished it had been Charlie and not Rupert who had fathered Dana. The truth had only depressed her further. She loved him. She wanted him by her side. Always. In her bed. In her life. In her heart.
She shook herself as she stopped at a red light. Why? Why had she risked her heart on someone else who was reluctant to be a father to Dana? She’d never asked to feel like this. Never expected to feel like this. Didn’t want to feel like this.
Since everything had fallen apart five years ago she hadn’t even entertained such fanciful expectations. She’d had Dana, who gave her indescribable joy, and her career. Work, Dana, work, Dana. It may have been soulless but she’d been…content.
Maybe she’d just settled as a way to punish herself for Harry’s death or for her naïvety over Rupert. Maybe it had been a way of protecting herself from further emotional trauma. Whatever it was, Charlie had turned it all upside down. He’d given her back her soul.
But more than that, he had given medicine back to her. The excitement she’d once felt at the prospect of helping sick people get better, of improving their quality of life or helping them to a dignified death. The thrill that came with the power to heal. The joy of knowing she was making a difference. No matter what happened after this morning, she was trading in her pinstripes for a white coat.
She parked her car as a swirl of emotions whirled in her head. A part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind and rush in head first. But the lessons of Rupert weren’t easily forgotten and she knew she had to be more responsible this time. It wasn’t just her future, her fate she had to decide on. There was an innocent four-year-old also involved.
Of course, after today it was probably all going to be moot anyway. Things seemed fairly insurmountable at the moment. Even if they did somehow manage to get past her part in the centre’s closure, there was the issue of Dana.
She couldn’t force Charlie to be a father to her daughter and he seemed to have it in his head that he wasn’t up to the job. Parental influences could be powerful and far-reaching—half the centre’s runaways were a perfect example of how not to parent. But it was obvious to anyone with the slightest vision that he was a natural with kids.
So how could she convince him he wasn’t like his father? And how, after her bombshell today, could she convince him to even listen?
Carrie heard voices from Charlie’s office as she swung by and she felt tension twist her stomach into another knot. She wanted to be anywhere but here today, doing this. She stood in front of his door, took a deep breath and poised her hand to knock.
‘Charles, you’re not seriously involved with that Carrie girl, are you?’
Carrie stopped before her knuckles hit the wood. His door wasn’t completely pulled to and she could hear the conversation easily. Was Charlie’s father with him?
