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She felt sick and tired, and slightly guilty because she’d gone off without telling Danny’s new nanny where to find them, and now she couldn’t summon up the will to trek back up the path to the villa.
It wasn’t finding the energy for the climb—although she was tired, she was still fit—it was the awful feeling of claustrophobia that swamped her in the villa. She had no freedom, and it felt as if she was being watched all the time.
She hadn’t wanted a nanny, but Nik had been immovable on the subject.
‘I’ve hired someone to help with Danny,’ he’d said one afternoon, about a week after the confirmation of her pregnancy. ‘You need to take better care of yourself.’
‘I’m fine,’ Carrie replied, feeling resentful that this was the first time he’d come anywhere near her or Danny for days. He hadn’t asked how they were—or spoken directly about her pregnancy. ‘I don’t need any help.’
‘A nanny will give you time to rest,’ Nik said.
‘I’m not giving Danny up for someone else to care for.’ She stared at him crossly, suddenly determined to get him to acknowledge the child she was carrying. ‘And you know that when this baby is born I will look after it myself.’
‘You need to be responsible,’ Nik said. ‘And that means accepting some help.’
‘I don’t need any help,’ Carrie said stubbornly, irritated that he still hadn’t shown any sign that he accepted their unborn child. ‘Other parents manage on their own.’
‘You don’t need to,’ Nik said categorically. ‘I won’t allow you to run yourself into the ground. You should rest now—you look tired.’
‘Don’t patronise me!’ Carrie snapped. ‘I’m pregnant—not ill.’
‘Nevertheless, you need to rest,’ Nik said, turning on his heel and striding away.
And that, Carrie reflected, had been the closest he’d come to acknowledging her pregnancy.
She laid her hand on her still flat stomach and looked out at the peacock-blue sea. She liked this shady olive grove next to the beach; it was the only place she felt at ease, and over the last month she had spent more and more time here. Danny liked it too, and would spend hours happily sorting the silver-grey pebbles or playing by the water.
A movement caught her eye and she saw the nanny, Helen, walking along the beach away from them. She must have come through the gate and turned in the opposite direction.
‘I’m over here, Helen!’ Carrie called, and waved, hoping to catch her attention. She was a nice Greek girl who spoke perfect English, and despite Carrie’s resistance to having a nanny she’d found that she liked her. She didn’t want her to needlessly walk all the way to the other end of the bay and back.
‘Hello, there!’ Helen called, ducking under a low olive branch and grinning at Danny. ‘What have you got there?’
He squealed with delight and deposited a handful of crushed olive blossom onto her outstretched palm.
‘Sorry you had to search for me,’ Carrie said. ‘I didn’t seem to have the energy to climb the hill.’
‘That’s all right.’ Helen smiled brightly, and Carrie suddenly had the strangest feeling that maybe she was also happy to get away from the villa for an afternoon. Being around Nik was anything but relaxing, and he’d got into the routine of coming to play with Danny during Carrie’s afternoon break.
It hadn’t occurred to her before, but Nik’s presence must be totally overpowering for a young girl—especially considering the black mood he’d been in since the discovery of Carrie’s pregnancy.
‘May I take him down to the water’s edge?’ Helen asked.
‘Of course,’ Carrie replied, putting his hat firmly on his head. ‘He loves to splash, and he’s already covered with sunblock.’
She watched Helen take Danny down to the lapping waves and sighed. Sometimes it was hard to believe how different her life had become from her life spent in London, doing two jobs just to make ends meet. Despite the hard work, she’d been happy then. Now she wasn’t so sure.
In her mind there was no doubt that Danny was enjoying being here. But she couldn’t help thinking about herself and the child she was carrying. Was this the right place for them?
Nik seemed to be actively avoiding her. He hadn’t spent any time with her during the day and he never came to her at night. Was this how her life was going to be? Totally isolated, with a husband who didn’t want to know her, didn’t want to know the child she was carrying?
A movement caught her eye and she glanced up to see Nik. He was standing in the sunshine just below her, on the edge of the beach.
He looked amazing. His dark hair gleamed in the sunlight and his bronze skin glowed with vitality, but her gaze slid straight to the expression on his face.
He hadn’t spotted her under the trees. All his attention was focussed on Danny. An incredible smile spread across his handsome features and she felt her heart skip a beat.
If only he would look at her like that.
