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Chloe drew in a shaky breath, having difficulty breathing—both from Lorenzo’s lung-crushing grip and from the words he had said. Did it mean he truly wanted her in his life? That he did have feelings for her?
‘No matter what—I’ll never leave you.’ Her voice was squeaky with breathlessness, but then he relaxed his grip slightly to look down at her.
‘But you are so unhappy with me,’ Lorenzo said, confusion showing on his face and in his voice.
‘I’ll never leave you, because I love you,’ she said simply. ‘I’ve always loved you, and it breaks my heart that you can’t love me back. But I can’t even imagine not being with you any more.’
A change came over Lorenzo’s expression. His eyes hardened and a muscle started throbbing in his jaw. He shook his head slightly, and even shrank back a little, as if he totally denied what she had told him.
A rush of despair rose up in Chloe. It was just like the first time she had opened her heart to him on their wedding day.
‘Why don’t you believe me?’ she cried. ‘What have I ever done to make you have no trust in what I say?’
She lifted her hand to her head, suddenly feeling dizzy from lack of sleep and stress, but she stared up into Lorenzo’s face. The expression of rejection she saw there cut her to the quick.
‘Why can’t you look into my eyes, and see that it’s true?’ she demanded. ‘I love you so much it hurts. But all you do is look at me like that—like I’m lying.’
Lorenzo stared down at Chloe, her distraught expression making it feel as if there were a blade twisting in his guts.
Overwhelming emotion surged through his body, and he didn’t know how to handle it. He looked down into her tortured face and saw how overwrought she was. He had done that. He was the reason she was so distressed.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I’ve messed everything up so badly. I don’t know how I can ever put it right.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ she said, sounding utterly dejected. ‘It’s not your fault you don’t feel the same as I do. You can’t make yourself fall in love with someone.’
There was a terrible look of despair on her face, which intensified when Lorenzo didn’t say anything. But he didn’t know how to respond.
He had never meant to hurt Chloe, yet he had found himself doing it again and again. Why hadn’t it been possible for him to find some response—any response—that would not have torn her heart apart?
Why wasn’t he able to feel what she wanted him to feel?
‘All I want is your happiness,’ he said, reaching out to pull her into his arms. ‘I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me to make that happen. I know I’m breaking your heart—and it’s breaking my heart too.’
Chloe closed her eyes and leant against his strong body, feeling a rush of emotion rising through her as she took in Lorenzo’s anguish. She had never heard him express such strong feelings before—surely it had to mean something? That perhaps he wasn’t the cold, emotionally unavailable man he claimed to be?
‘I’m sorry,’ he gasped, letting go and holding her away from him. ‘I’m suffocating you.’
‘It’s all right,’ she wheezed. ‘I like being in your arms—it feels right.’
‘Yes, it does!’ he exploded, raking his hands violently through his short black hair. ‘It feels so right—it has always felt right. So why do I keep hurting you so badly?’
He cursed again, and Chloe could see his hands were shaking.
‘You need to get away from me—so that I can’t bring you any more pain.’ He took a step backwards, looking down at her with wild, anguished eyes.
She stared up at him—startled by his outburst and shaken by the intensity of it, but at the same time mesmerised by his words. Had he really begun to express something she had almost stopped hoping for—something of unbelievable wonder?
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You deserve so much more than this—you deserve to be loved. You were right about why I brought you back here. I tried to do the right thing—to let you go before I brought you any more heartache. But I just wasn’t strong enough to do it. Even though I kept hurting you—I couldn’t bring myself to leave you.’
‘I don’t want you to leave me,’ Chloe said, tears sparkling in her eyes. But she held herself in check—she didn’t want to do anything to send Lorenzo off the wonderful road of understanding that she hoped and prayed he was finally travelling. ‘I never want you to leav
e me.’
‘But why?’ Lorenzo demanded, an agonised expression contorting his face. ‘Despite my attempts to make you happy—all I’ve ever done is bring you misery!’
‘You know why I don’t ever want to leave you.’ Chloe stepped forward and laid her hand gently on his cheek, and suddenly Lorenzo stilled—as if the fury and rage evaporated.
‘I don’t…I can’t believe…’ he stumbled, his blue eyes confused and troubled as he looked deep into hers.
