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‘The thing is, Rachel, I don’t want to continue with what we’ve been doing.’
She nodded, her mouth as dry as a desert. ‘Yes, I rather gathered that.’ Her voice sounded dead. Hollow.
‘I want to try something a little more…normal.’
Her head snapped back, her eyes rounding.
‘I know I said I didn’t want a real relationship with you, and I meant it at the time. And, to a degree, that still holds true. Love and marriage are not on my agenda, so I won’t pretend I am offering you any hope of that. But I do want you in my life, Rachel, not just as my PA and not just for the sex. I want to go out with you and, yes, go home with you sometimes. My weekends are terribly lonely. Last weekend was…intolerable.’
‘Mine too,’ she agreed readily, her spirits lifting with what he was suggesting.
‘So I was thinking, if you’d like, that we could try that kind of a relationship.’
She struggled not to cry.
‘I…I’d like that very much,’ she managed, and found a smile from somewhere.
He smiled back. ‘I can’t promise not to ravage you occasionally in the office.’
‘I won’t mind.’
He laughed. ‘You’re not supposed to say that.’
‘What am I supposed to say?’
‘No might be a good start.’
‘You’re not much good with no.’
‘It’s not my favourite word, I confess. Not where you’re concerned. But it really isn’t right, you know, doing it on my desk. I’m finding it increasingly hard to concentrate on my work.’
‘Poor Justin,’ she said.
‘You don’t sound all that sympathetic.’
‘I’m not.’
‘Would you believe I’ve actually been feeling quite guilty?’
‘Not guilty enough to stop, though,’ she pointed out with a wry little smile.
He smiled back. ‘No. Not nearly that guilty.’
The arrival of the wine gave Rachel a few moments to hug her happiness to herself. Justin might not be offering her the world, but being his special lady friend was a big improvement on the role of secret sex slave.
‘This is the best wine,’ she said after the waiter left and she took a sip.
‘Hunter Valley whites are second to none,’ Justin replied, sipping also.
‘Can…can I tell Isabel about us?’ Rachel asked tentatively. ‘She’ll be home from her honeymoon tomorrow.’
‘If you want to. But I’d rather you didn’t mention what we’ve been up to these past two weeks.’
‘Heavens, I wasn’t going to tell her about that!’ she exclaimed.
Rachel doubted Isabel would be shocked as such. But she would be furious. With Justin, for treating her best friend in such a fashion. At least now Rachel would be able to say that she was Justin’s proper girlfriend. They might even be able to go out with Rafe and Isabel sometimes as a foursome.
Justin’s head tipped to one side as he searched her face. ‘You have enjoyed what we’ve been doing, haven’t you, Rachel?’
‘How can you ask that?’ she exclaimed, blushing now. ‘You know I have.’
‘And your tears tonight… Did you tell me the truth about them?’
She swallowed, then looked him straight in the face. ‘Why would I lie?’
‘I was worried you might think you’re in love with me.’
‘Not at all,’ she said without batting an eyelid. And it wasn’t really a lie, because she was sure she was in love with him. ‘I…I confess I was bit upset because you hadn’t kissed me first. You just…you know…’
He grimaced. ‘You’re right. It was unforgivable of me. But I refuse to take all the blame. That perfume you’re wearing today should be banned. I just couldn’t wait.’
Rachel made a mental note to buy a king-sized bottle of that one. If she couldn’t have Justin’s love, she could at least ensure his ongoing lust.
‘So when are we going on our first date?’ she asked eagerly.
‘We’re on it now.’
‘Oh. Yes. So we are. And where to after dinner?’
‘I thought I’d take you home to my place for the night.’
Now Rachel was seriously surprised. When he’d said he would like to come home with her sometimes she’d thought he was still keeping his own place out of bounds.
‘If you like, that is,’ he added.
‘I’d like it very much.’
‘I lease a furnished apartment at Kirribilli,’ he went on. ‘No point in buying a place when I plan on setting up my future business out of the city. I’d like to buy some building with a couple of floors and then I can live above the office. I resent the time I waste travelling to and from work. Not that Kirribilli is all that far from here. Just over the bridge. But you know what I mean. Parking in the CBD is appalling and public transport is the pits.’
