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Lauren, I know this isn’t going to make any sense, but you deserve the truth. I’m not perfect. I know I have made mistakes. I promise you, I never meant to do those things to you. But if I let myself fall for you, I don’t think I’ll ever recover. I’ll never be the same, and that scares me. What you feel—SCARES me.
I hope you can understand and respect the choice I’ve made.
M I covered my face, holding back the tears. What a coward he was. At least I tried. I put myself out there again even though I never wanted to. I had thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with the man I loved, but then he died. I didn’t get a choice, but I tried, again. I should have listened to Cassie.
Speaking of Cassie, it was about time I got back to her.
4:40 p.m. Me: Hey, Cass, sorry it’s taken me this long to talk to you. Are you free tonight? It was like watching paint dry as I waited for her reply. With my arms on the table, I laid my head down, dozing off a little. Then as soon as I heard the familiar ring tone I sat up, answering.
“Cassie,” I answered. She told me she was outside my house. I grabbed my jacket on the way to the door.
“Hey,” I said, walking towards her.
“We’ve missed you.” She held out her arms, pulling me in for a hug as I got closer.
I sighed. “I’ve missed you too.”
“Are you working tonight?” she asked.
“Yeah, but I am off Thursday and Saturday if you want to get together,” I answered.
“Do you work late?” She asked.
“Until close. Then I usually go to the bar with the crew after work,” I replied.
She asked, “What bar?”
“Shattered.” My brow furrowed.
“If you go tonight, then call me. We’ll meet you
there,” she said. I looked at her, then over at Charlie. Was she serious?
“It’s not your kind of place,” I replied.
“What kind of place is that, Lauren?” she asked, crossing her arms.
“Well, it’s nothing like Gravity, and the crowd, well—there is little to be desired,” I replied.
“You think I can’t blend in with your new friends?” She acted as though I had insulted her.
My mouth dropped, and I felt as if I was being attacked. This was not Cassie at all. “That’s not what I—”
“Just call me if you go,” she said, then got in the car.
“O—okay, I will,” I said and stepped back from the car as Charlie pulled out, both of them waving as the car drove away. I stood there a little longer, wondering if Cassie was up to something. Normally, she wasn’t so—short with me. I glanced at my watch; three hours before I had to start work. I went back in the house and turned on the television for a bit.
Later that night after work, Mike did invite me to go out with the group to Shattered. I almost declined. I knew if I showed up there without telling Cassie, it wouldn’t be a coincidence that she happened to pop in and find me there, and then she’d be furious. I hummed and hawed over the idea of inviting her all night.
“A close friend of mine said she was going to join us tonight,” I said. “I haven’t seen her for a while, so she wants to catch up,” I added.
“It’s all good , Lauren. The more the merrier,” he said, patting my shoulder as he came in from the back area.
“Cool,” I said and sat at the table by the kitchen, waiting for everyone, sending off a text to Cassie at the same time.
10:49 p.m. Me: So I’ll meet you there just after eleven?
10:51 p.m. Cassie: We are already here.
