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“Savannah…”
I looked up, and they’d slid back into their seats. Their faces were curious, but not angry. More concerned than anything else.
“Savannah, what’s wrong?”
I couldn’t face them. Couldn’t bare to look into their eyes. It felt like everything was coming crashing down. All at once.
“I— I have to go.”
All of a sudden I couldn’t be there. I jumped up, sliding over Erik who was seated beside me. The guys moved to get up as well, but I pushed them back into the booth with both arms.
“Please, just… I need to… to get out of here…”
“Okay then,” said Roman. “Let us come with yo—”
“NO.”
I spun away, as the tears began to fall. They streamed down my cheeks. Fell to the diner’s dirty checkered floor, as I pushed my way through the glass door and into the street.
I walked as fast as I could, in the most random direction. Listening for the sound of footfalls on pavement. Hoping not one of them followed me, or tried to get me to stop.
Thankfully, none of them did.
Forty-Six
SAVANNAH
I stayed up all night. Wide awake, until the crack of dawn.
Sleep was impossible, with everything running through my mind. I’d gotten home and double-locked the door. Then I’d checked it and re-checked it, while pacing my apartment.
Stupid!
I couldn’t sit down, I couldn’t stand up. No matter what I tried, I was totally unable to sit still for even a full minute, all while trying to think of my next move…
So, so stupid.
It was unbelievable, that Louden had found me. But was it really? I’d been careful, but not meticulous. I’d opened the same shop, with almost the same name. And I’d done it in one of the places you’d probably look first, if you were searching for such a thing.
And the
n there was the topic of my name. Choosing ‘Savannah’ was haughty and overconfident. The worst of blunders. I’d chosen the very city I’d fled from, to pay homage to it. Not even stopping to think that for someone looking to find me, it would be one of the biggest red flags.
Of course, it was equally foolish to think Louden had stopped looking. Not after what I’d taken. And what I’d done…
Dawn came, and drove away most of the more nightmarish scenarios and intrusive thoughts. I forced myself to sit down in the kitchen and go over my options. During the process I had three cups of coffee, one after the other.
You should go now. Right now.
It was my gut reaction — my first thought. But wasn’t it always? I’d used it as a solution again and again, to keep ahead of the game. Running had brought me nothing but uncertainty and loneliness. And besides, it wasn’t really a solution. Only a band-aid.
Maybe. But this… this is different.
Bitterly I had to acknowledge that one little fact. Different in that I’d thrown down roots. Different in that this time, I really had something to lose.
Three somethings.
FUCK.
