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It was at least midnight when I finally drifted off.
I slept better that night than I had in weeks, nestled snugly between the warm bodies of my three protective lovers. We threw down blankets and pillows again. Transformed the floor of the living room into a stakeout turned slumber party, with at least one of us always awake, to keep watch.
If they were angry, it didn’t show. More likely they were relieved at me finally telling them everything, but still shocked at the extent of my story. There was something about Roman, though. An invisible distance that had settled between us, the moment I’d finished coming totally clean.
Somewhere near dawn it was his turn at the window. I waited until he was settled, and the others were slumbering away. Then, carefully and without waking him, I pried myself from Zane’s warm, giant arms.
“Hey…” I said gently, pulling a blanket from the couch. I settled down beside my Italian lover, but he only looked out the wi
ndow, saying nothing. I continued staring at his silhouette, so handsome, chiseled and strong.
“Roman,” I urged. “What is it?”
“You should’ve told us,” he said simply.
“I… I know.”
“We could’ve helped you,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t even think about what might’ve happened, if Erik hadn’t showed up when he did.”
I saw his expression of concern, but there was more to it than that. He looked forlorn. Like there was something else.
“Is it the name thing?” I asked. “I know it’s weird, so if you don’t want to call me Julia…”
“I’m mad that you ran.”
My eyes narrowed in confusion for a moment. But then I knew.
“Erik told me you had a bag packed,” he said. “All your things. Your money. The emeralds.” Finally he turned to look at me, and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. “You were leaving us,” he said plainly. “Just like that.”
My first instinct was to deny it. To lie to his face, and tell him something different. But I couldn’t — not anymore. I was as done with lying as I was running away.
“I was leaving, yes,” I admitted. “But only because of them. I could never forgive myself if any of you got hurt.”
He laughed bitterly. “Those guys? Please.”
“You don’t understand, Roman,” I pleaded. “Louden’s crazy. And Jarrett…” I sighed, thinking back again. “Well, Jarrett’s even crazier.”
I slid closer to him, until we were side by side. I could feel the cold radiating off the big window as I pulled my blanket around us both.
“You know that little nagging voice in the back of your head, that says ‘this probably isn’t such a good idea’?” I asked.
Roman nodded slowly, his eyes back on the street.
“Well Jarrett doesn’t have that voice. Never has.”
“All the more reason you shouldn’t be on your own,” my lover said. “We’re going to find these guys, and we’re going to fix this once and for all. They’re never going to hurt you again… Julia. I can promise you that.”
He fumbled over my name again, which only made me feel worse. But his expression was different now. He seemed to understand.
“I’m thankful for you,” I said. “For what we have. For the sacrifices the three of you are making for me. And most of all for sticking with me, even after bringing all this… drama.”
I leaned in, resting my head on his shoulder. In time, he rested his own head on mine.
By the time the dawn came, I was fast asleep.
Fifty-Three
SAVANNAH
