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“Yes,” I went on. “Yes it is.”
Holly’s lips were pouty now, and it only made her prettier. But there were lines on her forehead too. Worry lines that weren’t there before.
“In giving ourselves to you, individually and together, we’ve made it impossible to separate your feelings for us. And that’s not fair. Because if you’re looking to make a choice, how can possibly—”
She shushed me, moving one slender finger to my lips. I stopped talking, even as I stayed helplessly locked in her eyes.
“I’m not looking to choose,” she said simply. “I love you all. If anyone’s been selfish here, it’s me. I’m the one who hasn’t been fair…” Her voice cracked as she finally looked away. “But Donovan, I can’t choose! I don’t know what to do! I came into this thinking it would be fun and easy, but that eventually one or more of us just wouldn’t click. Only we all click. We all click together so damned well…”
She was becoming upset, and getting her upset was the last thing I wanted. I had to shift gears.
“Look, I just needed you to know how I feel,” I smiled happily. “I love you Holly. Alone, together, as a threesome or a foursome — I just fucking love you.” I pulled her tighter against me, giving her ass a couple of firm squeezes. “And I gotta say, this right here is shaping up nicely.”
Her eyes were glassy, but she wasn’t crying. If anything, they were brimming with tears of happiness.
“Thanks,” she said, squirming deliciously into my palm. “I’ve got a kickass personal trainer.”
“He must work you out often,” I replied mockingly.
“He does,” she grinned, her own hands now wandering. I jumped as her fingers closed over the crotch of my jeans. “But sometimes I work him out too.”
Fifty
HOLLY
It was late by the time we’d finished dinner, and dessert, and second dessert. It seemed that either Lincoln had a sweet tooth, or those responsible for stocking his cabinets did.
When we were finished we retired to the living room, where Brody had the fire going stronger than ever. It was so warm that the windows no longer accumulated snow. Whatever flakes landed on the outside panes quickly melted.
Our little Christmas party consisted of the four of us, two Santa hats, and a bowl of pretty incredible eggnog whipped up, surprisingly, with all the necessary ingredients found in the kitchen. The latter had been well-fortified with brandy and rum, to the point where it might even be flammable.
The tree looked utterly fantastic, even without bulbs or ornaments. Top to bottom, the guys had done a great job wrapping it with an over-abundance of colorful, twinkling lights. A third Santa hat had been planted on top as a makeshift star. It made the whole thing funny, but Christmasy, too.
For an hour or two we just lounged around, drinking our fill of eggnog before each switching to something lighter. Lincoln and Brody had beer. Donovan was mixing vodka with club soda, which was typical considering how closely he watched his diet.
The conversation started off light, and got heavier as the night wore on. Eventually it went to our families, and how distant and far away they all were right now. Even Lincoln, who’d grown up not far from the cabin we sat in, lamented the obvious disconnect. The social and emotional distance invoked by long hours of tedious work, and not spending enough time with those he loved.
“Let’s make a pact to include each other from now on,” Donovan toasted abruptly, “whenever we’re stuck in the City alone. And not just Christmas either, but any holiday we might feel lonely. Any time we can’t be with our families.”
I raised my glass immediately, and so did the others. The moment was actually quite beautiful. All four of us were smiling.
It was not long after that the flirting got heavy.
No matter where I was in the room, I always seemed to be in someone’s lap. First it was Lincoln, who cradled me with my back against him. He was content to wrap me snugly in his arms, moving my hair aside and kissing my neck whenever the mood struck him. Every time his lips touched my skin it sent shivers of pleasure throughout my body. Sensing my reaction, he of course did it over and over again.
Next it was Brody, also playing with my hair… amongst other parts of my body. His hands moved confidently and unashamedly as the four of us talked, until I was squirming and writhing happily beneath the touch of his talented fingers.
Donovan was boldest of all, touching and kissing me whenever he wanted to. Making out with me hotly in front of the others, as if I was his girlfriend, which of course I was.
Music played as we drained our phones, a mixture of everything Christmas and holiday-themed. Internet service out in the wilderness wasn’t all that great, and there were long stretches of silence as songs buffered to completion. It was still romantic though. Still very Christmasy and beautiful.
“I wish we had our presents,” lamented Brody at one point. “I actually got you guys some stuff.”
It was adorable to me, imagining Brody shopping by himself. Buying gifts not just for me, but for his fellow suitors too.
We’re friends, I realized absently. You might be the only one sexually involved with all three of them, but they’re socially involved in each other’s lives as well.
For some reason that made me feel better about the whole thing. That as much love and attention I’d been getting all to myself, maybe it hadn’t been all to myself after all. For example, I’d learned Donovan and Lincoln had started working out together. Brody had hung out with Donovan on occasion as well, and the three of them had also gone somewhere they wouldn’t tell me about — presumably Christmas shopping — before all going out for drinks.
