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I had to admit, I was thinking about it.
No, it was more than that.
I was going to do it.
I was in denial, and I knew it. I was in denial because of everything that happened between Kane and me. That was my only hang-up. I had already begun to think about what my life could be like with a relationship with him, how I would be able to handle starting slow at a distance and building up to something serious and regular. I could already see how I would have spent lots of time at the vineyard in his adorable A-frame. How I would get to know his cat enough that it wouldn’t look at me like an intruder. How I would get to know his family and eat at their restaurant and help him develop his vineyard and recover the family business.
But now all that was gone. It had to take a back seat to my sister and her baby. Family came first. If he knew, Kane would have understood. I was going to take on being a mother, and perhaps it was the path I had been meant to take all along. The reason I was still alone.
I tried to smile again. There was an excitement there about the upcoming change. Excitement about a baby filling my time and my heart. Excitement about helping my sister to continue her dream and how it would give us even stronger of a bond. How we could, as we always had, do this in spite of everything.
Kane and the life I had started to think about with him was just a fantasy. I had more important things to do now.
15
Kane
I stood up from where I had been crouched under the boards of the platform I had built not two days ago and stretched my back. The entire structure had taken three days, but Noah had helped with some of it. A suggestion that had been in Danica’s notes to build a structure to house the main components of the irrigation system that I had to upgrade had been taken on and finished. With a turn of a knob under the boards, it became fully operational.
It had been a week since Danica had left. The notes she wrote for me were pretty extensive, but I had put into place every single one of them. Cameron had approved a number of upgrades that I told him we needed and cleared out enough budget to make them work. I worked hard the entire week to get it done quickly and push through. I wanted to say it was because I was motivated to get the vineyard operational again, and while that was part of it, it wasn’t the whole reason.
I was eager to see Danica again.
She left a business card with her paperwork, but I was kicking myself for not getting her personal number. The card was the only way I had to contact her, and it felt weird to use it to get ahold of her considering our current situation.
So, I made sure I finished everything in her notes. That way, I had a legitimate reason to contact her that was aboveboard for her work. Once she got into town to inspect it again, well, that was what it was.
Happy with my work and ready to finally hear from her again, I walked back to my house. The irrigation building was about halfway into the fields, and it felt closer and easier to just go home than to the main buildings. I headed inside and right to my laptop, which I brought into the living room and sat down on the couch.
I typed her email address in and tried to word an email that was both professional and personal. Suddenly, I wished I had gone to the office and seen Alex. He would know how to do it.
Stopping just shy of mentioning I missed her, I wrapped up my ham-fisted email and included my personal number at the end. It included a message that I would like to talk to her when she had a chance.
I closed the laptop and tossed it onto the cushion. I could sit around and wait for her to respond, or I could do something with the nervous energy. Alex had mentioned that he was down to go to the pound and look at dogs whenever I was ready after getting the nod of approval from all the other brothers. Figuring that was as good as anything, I picked up the phone and texted him, asking when he would be ready. Before I could even set the phone down and grab a glass of water, he texted back.
“Give me ten minutes. Meet me at the restaurant.”
Alex was already waiting when I got there. For someone who generally liked hiding behind a computer all day and focusing in on technology, at least recently, he seemed pretty excited for today’s adventure. I was glad to see it. Alex all too often could be surly and rude, and I had a feeling it was because he threw himself into his work and his work was so solitary. When he had a better work-life balance, he was fun and gregarious. But when he was too entrenched in his job, he could be a real bear.
