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“Thank God. This whole thing has been a nightmare. I can’t imagine what it would be like if Jackson wasn’t so happy-go-lucky and excited about everything.”
Chase nodded but his eyes swept away from me to look out at the water ahead of us. A twinge of guilt stabbed at me. Surely he knew that I didn’t mean being with him was a nightmare. Didn’t he?
“Where’s our next stop?” I asked, needing to shift the conversation in a new direction. I wasn’t ready to have a more serious conversation with him about our relationship. We’d started to talk around the issue the night before but hadn’t exactly come to any solid conclusions before getting lost in each other again.
In any case, it wasn’t a conversation I was willing to delve into while my son was within earshot. Last night was a welcome distraction from all of the drama we’d endured over the past few days. It was nice to let myself go and set aside the heaviness that clung to me at all hours.
But as soon as we’d said goodnight, I went down to bed and started to wonder what it would be like if we’d met under different circumstances. What would have happened if he’d been the one I’d met in Hawaii all those years ago. Or, even if we’d met now, but outside of the situation where he was protecting me while I was on the run from my crazed ex-husband.
In a series of scenarios, I’d imagined, when I got to the end, they were all the same. Chase and I would find a way to be together, even against the odds.
I scoffed, clearing away the fantasies. That’s all they were. Nothing more than pre-sleep fantasies conjured up by an exhausted, emotional mind. In the real world things never ended with a happily ever after romance. Why should Chase and I be any different?
For the time being, I was still married to Henry, but even more than that, I had Jackson to think about. I needed to explain things to Jackson sooner or later. I just hadn’t decided which. At five years old, he wasn’t likely to understand the situation. And I wasn’t willing to put an adult burden on his little shoulders, either.
I doubted that I’d ever be able to tell him the whole story.
“There’s a little beach town not too far from here called Manzanilla,” Chase answered, drawing me back from the tangled mess of thoughts and complications that I’d started to wrestle with again. “It’s pretty remote but has a decent sized port that we can use to refuel and get restocked with food and water.”
“Any chance we can stay there for a couple of days? Like we did in Cabo?”
Chases expression shifted to a frown. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Melissa.”
I tried to play it off, to accept his answer and act like it didn’t bother me. But the truth was—it did. It was just another reminder that everything was out of my control. Henry had managed to take away the last remaining shred of hope I’d found since leaving home. Back in Cabo, in the beautiful hotel suite Chase had got us, I’d let myself relax and even dared to hope for the future. No, Mexico would never be the same as living in California, but it was good enough.
I’d imagined what it would be like to build a life in some seaside Mexican city like Cabo. I imagined I could get a secretary job in some kind of commercial office once the cash ran out. Jackson could enroll in a bilingual school for kindergarten and we could ride things out. Rebuild. But the fiasco in Cabo reminded me that no matter where I went or what I tried to do, Henry would find me. He wasn’t going to give up until he got Jackson back. And that meant he’d have to kill me first.
“When we get to Manzanilla, I’ll call Matt,” Chase offered. “I’m sure he’s got more news for us and might be able to offer a solution.”
I scoffed. “Like what? I don’t want to sound pissy but I’m having a hard time seeing any way out of the situation that doesn’t end in Jackson being kidnapped and me in a body bag.”
As soon as the words left my mouth I turned around in my seat to make sure Jackson hadn’t heard me. I heaved a sigh of relief when I spotted him still at the wheel, humming his song, and staring out at something off the side of the boat. I turned back to Chase and lowered my voice when I added, “I just mean that until we figure out how Henry’s tracking me—there isn’t a safe place for me to go. I can’t live the rest of my life on the run and I certainly won’t put Jackson through that. He needs friends his own age and to get back into a routine like he had in California. There was school and soccer and all of the things that little boys his age should have. If I can’t find a way to give that to him, then I might as well send him back to California to live with Henry.”
