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“Come on,” I said, tucking her hand back in my elbow. “Let’s buy presents.”
We walked up and down the booths selling handmade goods and she picked up some locally made earrings and some homemade hot chocolate powder and toffee. Two beautiful scarves for Jasmine and my sister. “Are we exchanging gifts?” she asked.
I had a diamond and sapphire ring in a box in the top drawer of my dresser.
“Sure,” I said. “I like presents. But I understand that your mom might have made that weird for you.”
“Well, I think I can get past it.”
I laughed. “How am I not surprised?”
“Do you open presents with your family?”
“Not usually,” I said. “Not for a long time. Christmas is such a busy season we usually have a big dinner that night, build a fire. Drink dad’s eggnog.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Well, the last few years it’s just been me and Dad, and I guess this year Paul will come if he’s around. And Kristen if she doesn’t go back to the city. You.”
“Your father still doesn’t like me,” she said. “He avoids me. If I walk in a door. He walks out.”
I couldn’t even argue with her. Dad had not warmed up to Lexie the way that everyone else in the world had.
“We could make a new Christmas tradition,” I said. “One of our own.”
“We get drunk on tequila and get married?”
I laughed. “Every year. It’s perfect.”
“Or?” She tilted her head. “We stay in bed as long as we can.”
“Oh, I like this idea.”
“When we’re almost starving to death we make a giant breakfast.”
“Pancakes,” I said. This woman loved pancakes, making a meal out of half of one like it was the best thing that ever happened to her.
“If you insist, and then we take a big hike to the inn where we make a giant fire. And we invite your whole family and everyone at the inn.”
“Really? Even Matt’s super fans?”
“Yeah. Bigger is better, Ethan.”
“Okay,” I said, with a shrug. “Whatever you want.”
“You know…” She stopped and snow was gathering in the folds of her hat. I reached over and brushed them off. “I’ve had men say that to me before. But they never meant it. Whatever I wanted that didn’t interfere with what they wanted.”
“Sounds like you dated some jerks.”
“You mean it, don’t you?”
“Lexie.” I smiled at her. “Whatever you want.”
20
Lexie
He loved me? That seemed…ridiculous. I wanted to ask him twenty questions about it. How did he know he loved me? Because the sex was good? Because I was helping out at the inn? Because I was here? Because I had amazing tits?
It was super effed up but I wanted those to be the reasons. Those were the reasons other men had said they’d loved me and that’s how I knew it wasn’t real. Because those were stupid reasons.
But Ethan wasn’t stupid. He was the smartest guy I knew. So…how did he know?
Henny’s voice in my head was changing.
Maybe you can believe him.
God, I wanted to. I really did. Not just that he wanted to give me whatever I wanted. But that he felt what he claimed to feel for me. We barely knew each other. But at the same time, what we had, it felt real.
Solid.
Like we were building something that could be love.
So, Henny said in my head. How about you stop doubting him, then. And start believing in him.
What I should do is call the real Henny. Maybe tomorrow. But she would try and talk sense into me and I wasn’t interested in that right now.
“Hey! Ethan!” A woman came by with her teenage daughter. Both of them had long brown hair and long legs in dark denim. “Thought I’d find you here one of these nights.”
“Hey, Margo!” Ethan said and hugged the teenage daughter, and then he wrapped the woman up in a bear hug and lifted her off her feet.
Oh. I do not like that.
“Denise,” he said. “It’s been ages.”
“Well, whose fault is that?” Denise said. Ethan set her down on her feet and she reached up and brushed all the snow off his shoulders—which I had been dying to do this whole evening, but I’d been petrified of people seeing us and thinking we were something we weren’t.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just been so busy.”
“It’s Christmas. I get it. How is your dad’s leg?”
“Healing slowly since he won’t stay off it.”
“Sounds like Chris Kringle,” she said.
“Hey, Denise.” He turned sideways. “I want you to meet Lexie. Lexie this is my oldest friend in the world. Denise this is—”
“His wife,” I said. The words popping out of me. It was like the whole place went silent. Denise’s mouth fell open and even Margot’s eyes went wide. I watched Ethan to see his reaction. And he very slowly, lit up. From the inside. Like I’d plugged him in.
“My wife,” he said.
