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His kissed me, slow and sweet, and I opened up to him, gave myself to him. Our jackets were coming off when Baby Girl barked.
“If I don’t go we’ll have a mess to clean up,” he said and stepped back to pull the little pink leash off the dining room table. “Hold that thought,” he said. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”
He left and I went into his bedroom, took off all my clothes, and waited for him in the glow of the Christmas tree.
21
Lexie
The next morning, I put on the pot of coffee. Baby Girl curled up on her little bed that Ben made for her. I managed the tiny number of guests who were checking out, and then when the lobby was quiet and before the sewing club started, I put on my big girl thong and called my mom.
“Well, look who it is,” Mom said in her archest voice. “I had gotten used to not having a daughter.”
“Mom it’s been two weeks.”
“Exactly. Two weeks and practically no word from you at all. You could be frozen to death in a snowbank for all I know.”
“I’m fine, Mom. Sorry I didn’t call earlier. It’s just been busy.”
“Busy convincing your one-night stand husband to divorce you? How long does that take?”
“I told you, Mom, I’ve been working at his inn.”
“Right. Right. Your one-night stand husband needed a front desk girl and you put your hand up.”
“Why do you make that sound so bad? I’m working with his family. It’s really nice.”
“It’s really nice that the sucker he needed happened to walk in the door when he needed it most.”
I flinched. I didn’t want to flinch but I did.
“Mom. Please. You’re making this harder.”
“Making what harder? Because the way I see it, it should be easy. You get him to sign the divorce papers and then come home. Where you belong.”
Where do I belong? I wondered. Because it didn’t feel like I belonged back in Vegas. Not after last night and not for a while now.
“Mom, I’m not coming home,” I said. “I’m staying.”
“Oh my god, you slept with him. You’re sleeping with him!” I was silent and she sighed. “You’ve made such a mess of this. Okay. How long are you going to stay there?”
“I don’t know. Maybe…maybe forever.”
“Forever? Listen to yourself, Lexie—”
“I am. I am listening. You aren’t. I like him and I like this place.”
“That’s not enough, honey. I mean, I know you think it is. Because you’ve always been a romantic at heart. But he will change his mind. Men always do. You won’t always fit into the little slot he’s made for you. You won’t always want to have sex when he wants to have sex. He won’t always find you interesting and exotic. There is no forever.”
“Ethan’s not like other men.”
“Oh, Lexie.” She sounded like she was laughing at me and sorry for me at the same time and I bristled.
“I shouldn’t have called you,” I said. “You want me to view the world the same way you do, but you looked for men who would treat you like shit. The same way I used to and somehow I found Ethan who treats me like I should be treated.”
“Lexie. Is he still paying you?”
My chest squeezed.
“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked, but I knew. In my gut, it had to do with everything.
“If he’s paying you and sleeping with you…well, you’re being treated the same way I was treated. And I told myself for years that the gifts and the cash on the bedside table and fancy meals didn’t make me a whore—”
“Stop. Mom. Just…stop.”
“You’re married until he’s done with you. He’s different until he’s not. He’ll hand you a check and say it was a lot of fun and it will be over. I just don’t want you to be hurt.”
“He says he loves me.”
“Oh, honey…you know you can’t believe that.”
And then I did the unthinkable. I hung up on my mother. Hands shaking and tears in my eyes, I hung up on my mom and stood at the front desk and wondered if she was right. And I was wrong.
And then the people started to come in. I put the phone away and tried to get my mother out of my head. They came in twos and threes. Women mostly. They looked me up and down. Judging my black satin joggers and hot pink one-shoulder sweater and my cute little quilted pumps.
They asked about sleds or renting skates. Was Matt still around? How was Chris’s leg? And then what they really came in for. Was I the Lexie they’d heard so much about?
“Well,” I said the first time with a laugh. “I’m the only Lexie.”
“Ethan’s Lexie,” they said, trying not to make it obvious how they were staring at my tits. And I didn’t catch on, not right away. Not until later, when everything went bad. And maybe it was the blow job and tequila comment I’d made at the Jamboree. But these women thought the worst of me.
