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When I barge into the bedroom, I find a naked brunette clambering to cover herself with a sheet, and quickly turn away, my cheeks blazing.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Seth yells behind my back in the doorframe, as the poor woman shrieks and scrambles.
My eyes still averted, I call out to the woman, “You’re Seth’s new PA?”
“Get out!” she screams.
“Do you want to be here?”
“Of course! Get out!”
“Sorry.” I turn around, drag Seth by his arm into the living space, and yell, “Where’s Amy?”
“Who?” Seth looks genuinely confused, which pisses me off even more.
Flooded with adrenaline, I shove Seth’s back into a nearby wall and pin him there with a forearm against his bobbing Adam’s apple. “Amy. My girlfriend. The redhead you’re planning to fuck in Hawaii!”
Seth looks stupefied. Not to mention terrified. I know he’s a good actor. Sort of. On occasion. But my gut tells me he’s not faking this reaction.
“I haven’t seen that redhead since she was with you!” he gasps out.
I lessen the pressure against Seth’s Adam’s apple, feeling confused and off-kilter. “She’s been assigned to you.”
“Not to my knowledge. Ask Margaret about her assignment. Why would I know anything about a fucking PA’s assignment?”
“Because you said you’d get Amy assigned to you as a favor to me!” I boom. “Although we both know you were planning to do that for nobody but yourself.”
Seth scoffs. “Amy’s a mousy little thing. I was never gonna—”
I slam Seth against the wall again, this time even harder than before, and his eyes nearly pop out of his head in shock. “Keep my girlfriend’s name out of your fucking mouth, or I’ll kill you.”
Seth grips my forearms. “Get your hands off me!”
“Colin!” Fish yells behind me. I feel his hands gripping my shoulder. “Colin, stop!”
Seth pushes on my chest while Fish pulls me back, so I relent and take a step back. I’m trembling with rage, but in control enough to back off. That is, until Seth points at me and shouts something that instantly hurtles me into an uncontrolled rage.
“You just committed career suicide!” Seth seethes. “Over a mousy little PA I’d never stoop to fuck, anyway!”
Without commanding my body to do it, I haul back and punch Seth’s famous face, crashing my fist into his nose with a loud crack that sends blood instantly gushing from his noggin like a geyser.
Howling in pain, Seth covers his face, as Fish leaps forward and grabs ahold of my cocked arm with surprising force. A high-pitched shriek unleashes behind me—the brunette from the bedroom is apparently standing in the doorway, and when I turn toward the noise, I see her wrapped in a sheet, screaming bloody murder.
Fuck.
My body quaking with adrenaline, I sprint out the trailer, prompting Fish to follow on my heels. For at least a full minute, the two of us Goats flee the scene of my crime, heading vaguely in the direction of the main production area. But when I realize Fish is cackling hysterically behind me as he runs—laughing so hard, in fact, the gap between us is beginning to lengthen considerably—I stop running to let him catch up.
Finally, when Fish comes to a stop next to me, he bends over, rests his palms on his thighs, and laughs his ass off for an eternal moment. “That was epic!” Fish shouts. “Awesome!”
“It’s not funny,” I gasp out. “Seth’s a powerful guy, Fish. He could demand my part gets recast. He could press charges.”
“Bah. Fuck it, shit happens.” It’s the catchphrase Fish coined in middle school that turned his lifelong nickname into an acronym. He continues, “Did you see the look on Seth’s face when he realized you’d punched him? Bwaahaa! That was amazing!”
I run a palm over my face. “I don’t know what came over me. He dissed Amy and I totally lost it. It’s like I had an out of body experience.”
“Hey, you said you wanted to grand gesture the fuck outta Amy, right? Well, mission accomplished! You couldn’t have grand gestured her better than that.”
I rub my forehead. “I’m fucked, Fish.”
He puts his palm on my shoulder. “I have a feeling everything’s gonna be just fine. But if not, so what? There’ll be other movies—whereas, this was your one and only chance to beat the shit out of Seth Rockford to defend your woman’s honor.” Fish hoots with glee, which makes me laugh, too, even though I know I shouldn’t.
“Unfortunately, I’m gonna look like a loose cannon psychopath to Amy when I tell her this story,” I say, “since I can’t tell her what Seth said about her. He basically called her unfuckable, Fish—and that’s one of Amy’s biggest insecurities. But if I don’t tell her about that, then why did I beat the shit out of Seth Rockford? Because he looked at her the wrong way a couple times last week? Making her think I’m a nut case isn’t quite the grand gesture I was going for here.”
