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But how could it not? To once again be the focus of that intense gaze was undeniably thrilling. His fondness for Shey, his concern for him had never faded. He couldn’t imagine a time when he wouldn’t care for the handsome man in some small way at least.
However, he was very careful to keep his hands clenched at his sides when his first instinct had been to rest his hand on Shey’s hip as he had so many times in the past.
Things between them hadn’t exactly fizzled out so many years ago. They hadn’t separated because of a fight or boredom or even some great rift in their ideologies. Shey hadn’t tried to hide Rayne from his mother. Of course, they hadn’t proclaimed their relationship to the world. They’d just enjoyed each other’s company while they had it, understanding that one day Shey would have to rule Caspagir and Rayne would return to Erya to work for the royal family.
And he had enjoyed his time with Shey. Treasured it, really. Shey had been impulsive and a bit wild. Maybe their association had even made Rayne a little reckless at times. He’d worried less about the expectations of his father and all his own ambitious goals.
When they were together, hidden away from the world, the young prince had been free, and he’d made Rayne the center of their world for as long as they could disappear together. Shey worried less about the opinions of others. He didn’t feel the weight of the scars on his handsome face. And they’d worshiped each other every moment they had.
It wasn’t all sex, though.
Well, a lot of it was sex.
Gods, it had been amazing sex.
After the sex, they’d lain tangled in each other and talked. They’d shared a hundred and one dreams, thoughts, and insane ideas without worrying about being laughed at or mocked. With Shey, it had been safe to dream big, ridiculous dreams. That life had been intoxicating.
Naturally, returning home had meant returning to reality, where he learned that so many of those dreams were completely impossible, but bits and pieces of them could be slowly implemented. He’d taken his place next to Caelan and worked alongside others in the Erya government. He’d learned much from Queen Amara even if it was from a distance.
But he’d never forgotten his time with Shey. Maybe he did yearn for those old days and dreams when he was alone.
“What are you doing, Shey?” Rayne was trying to sound stern, but the attempt was lost in his breathless voice as he was nearly swept out to sea by a tidal wave of memories.
“I thought I would steal you away so we could talk.” His answering grin was positively wolfish, sending the most delicious flush of warmth through his body. There was something so intoxicating about being desired by a powerful man, knowing that of all the people in the kingdom, he was the one Shey wanted more than any other. Rayne had forgotten what it was like to be desired by someone like that.
Except it wasn’t like being held in the dark gaze of Eno Bevyn. Nothing in this world could match that.
“Now is not a good time.”
Shey threw his head back and laughed. “It’s like you’ve forgotten everything. There was never a good time for us. We always said we had to steal the time, steal the moments before they slipped away.” The Caspagir prince took a step closer so that their chests bumped lightly. “And if I must, I will steal you while I can.”
Rayne lifted his hand and dragged his fingertips across Shey’s cheek, following the white line of the old scars. As he’d expected, Shey closed his eyes and pressed his face into his touch, relaxing. Rayne was sure he was the only one who could touch Shey there, and part of him ached for his old lover. Shey needed someone who could give all of himself over, to care and protect the prince when he would allow no others close.
“We’re in the middle of a war.”
“All the more reason to grab this time.” Shey opened his eyes and held Rayne’s gaze. “And maybe I want to also give you a reason to return to Sirelis after this is all over. To tempt you to stay permanently.”
“Shey,” Rayne started, but anything else became caught in his throat. When Rayne had lived in Sirelis, they had never discussed Rayne staying longer. They’d never even whispered the idea that their relationship was anything other than temporary.
“Letting you leave without a fight was an enormous mistake on my part. I should have been fighting for you from the first second we met. But you’re back. I’ve been given another chance. I know things ahead of us are difficult, but there will be an end to it, and I want you here.”
