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“Yeah, I don’t know how long Aspen and I are going to stay. I know they’re doing the auction after this, but I think we might just go back to the dorms and chill.”

My molars grind together, and I reach for the knife without thinking. It takes all my willpower not to respond to that statement. Why the hell did Matteo and her come together?

“I didn’t know you two were a thing. I’m so happy for you,” Anja chirps in a sarcastic tone that belongs in a soap opera.

“Oh.” Aspen clears her throat, her eyes darting around the table self-consciously. “We aren’t together.”

The anger in my veins becomes a low simmer at the sound of her voice. For whatever reason, Aspen is a healing balm to my rage. She is the control when I’m spiraling, and she doesn’t even have the slightest fucking clue.

“Don’t be like that, Aspen. You know it’s deeper than that.” Matteo grins, and my rage is back to boiling again.

Using the napkin, she wipes her mouth, and when I see Matteo’s arms move like he is touching Aspen under the table, I almost lose it.

She jerks away, confirming what I saw, but she doesn’t need a knight to save her. Not that I’m a knight. Lifting her arm, she elbows him in the side, but he doesn’t move his hand.

My already boiling anger reaches new heights, and I’m half a second away from lunging across this table, tackling Matteo to the ground, and driving my fist into his smug face until he is nothing more than a bloody mess.

She is mine to touch, mine to torment, only mine.

“Excuse me,” Aspen grits through her clenched teeth and shoves to her feet. “I need to use the ladies’ room,” she announces before turning around and walking away from the table.

From behind, her dress is even more revealing. Her entire back is bare, making it obvious that she is not wearing a bra.

As I watch Aspen disappear from the room, my head spins. Everything is so out of control. My father being here is fucking everything up.

I had just found a fix for my pain, a small calm to the raging storm, and now he’s taken that away from me. Once again, I feel lost, unhinged, and this time, I’m not sure if I can ever get back to sanity again.

“Are you okay, Quinton?” My father’s voice booms in my ears, and I sit up a little straighter. Either I can sit here and deal with what’s happening in front of me, swallowing it down and forcing myself to digest it later, or I can do something about it right now.

Looking over at my father is like looking at myself in the future. “I’m fine. I just need to use the restroom.”

It’s a lie. All of it. That’s all I’ve been doing is lying. Lying to myself, lying to my parents. I’m far from okay, but in my life, there is not room for anything else. It’s either be okay or pretend to be okay, which is where Aspen comes in.

30

ASPEN

I can’t take this anymore. I feel like I’m suffocating, a rope wrapped around my throat, tightening with each breath I take.

Making my way through the crowd, I ignore the hateful expressions and hope that no one is going to attack me while I’m in the bathroom. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I know being anywhere by myself up here is not wise, but right now, I’ll do anything for a few moments of alone time.

The bathroom is empty when I walk inside, and I’ve never been more glad about anything in my life. I catch my reflection in the mirror, and I’m not surprised by how pale I look even with the makeup. I’m exhausted, and all I want to do is go back to my dorm and spend the night like I had planned.

Tearing my eyes away from the girl I barely recognize anymore, I step into one of the bathroom stalls. I hear a sound behind me, but before I can turn around, someone grabs me. With a shriek, I spin around and start fighting immediately, but my wrists are captured with ease, and I’m pinned to the bathroom stall.

“Why the fuck are you here with him?” Quinton growls, inches away from my face. His hot minty breath fans over my cheek, and I sigh in relief.

“Do you think I want to be here? With him, of all people? I hate him. I asked you to get him off my back. I wanted to stay in my room and read, and I definitely didn’t want to wear this dress.”

“Then why the fuck did you?”

“Because your father made me! He sent me this dress and told me not to disappoint him and come to this ball. He even arranged a date for me.”

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