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“You should really take the leap, Zooey. Honestly, sex is on another level. You need to let go of your insecurities and just do it.”
“I’m not insecure. I just don’t want to jump into bed with the first person who asks me,” I mutter. Poppy laughs.
“Ooft! Claws out! Look, I’m just saying, it doesn’t have to be this massive deal. You’re twenty-one. It’s normal to explore your sexuality, explore what you want from a guy. Or a woman, if you’re that way inclined…”
“I’m not.”
“So defensive,” Poppy laughs, shaking her head at me. “You do you, girl. I’m just saying. If there’s someone out there that you want, there’s no shame in going out and getting them.”
Unless they happen to be your Dad’s best friend, is the part of the sentence she's left out. I sigh. I wish I could be as carefree as Poppy is. After all, in my position, she wouldn’t have given my father a second thought. I can imagine exactly what she would say if I told her my predicament. You’re not even close with your Dad, she would tell me. You’ve got nothing to lose. He had his chance to be a Dad. Don’t lose your chance at happiness.
“You know, you could have any man you want at this party,” Poppy continues, “You’re smart, talented, beautiful...you can have the pick of the bunch. Go out there and pick the ripest one.”
Perhaps she is right. Maybe I need to stop overthinking, push my fears aside and just jump right in. It’s food for thought at least. If it was just as simple as following my heart, I would be with him right now.
But life is never as simple as that.
Chapter Six
Wes
Before I have even opened my eyes, I’m thinking of Zooey. Before I’m even properly awake, I’m hard as a rock. Even in my sleep, I was thinking of her and wondering when I could make her mine. As I wake up to a brand new day, groggy from the lack of sleep, I still don’t know what to do about the girl I can’t get off my mind.
It’s almost laughable how much she has taken over my life. I could have had any woman I wanted at the party last night. I’ve always known that I’m an attractive man. Women look me up and down like a piece of meat as I walk by. I could whisper a few words in their ears and have them in my bed within seconds. They desire me because I’m like a blip on their systems - the hot single man who can distract them from their boring marriages and make them want an affair. They want to obtain me in ways that other women have been unable to.
But that has never been what I want. Those women don’t understand me. They don’t see further than what is on the surface. How is it possible that after a few short minutes with Zooey, I feel like she gets me? We barely exchanged any words and yet I know she would understand my humor, my personality, and never try to change me. It’s almost as though she’s perfect for me, and I can’t just forget that in a hurry.
I get up and dress quickly, hoping to catch Lawrence before all of the party preparation starts for the day. It’s technically not until this evening, but I know how his parties work. The guests sleep late, mill around eating the catered food in the afternoon, and then dive back into the festivities as soon as the sun starts to go down. I want to try and excuse myself from this whole charade before he can persuade me to stay. So I rush downstairs and try to find him before the day can really get started. More importantly, before I bump into Zooey and things get more awkward.
I find Lawrence in his huge garden, where he is ordering around some of the many helpers he’s hired for the event. The garden has been transformed with Halloween decor, and I can already see where some of the stalls are going to be set up later. Ever in the business mindset, he’s invited local independent stores to sell their food and wares, so the whole place is in chaos to get things sorted. I can tell now is a terrible time to have a conversation with Lawrence, but it can’t wait any longer. He spots me and waves me over.
“Good morning, partner,” Lawrence says cheerfully, as though he hasn’t got a whole bottle of whiskey still settling in his stomach from last night. “Come to help out? That’s not like you…”
“Actually, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if I left today…”
Lawrence folds his arms and frowns at me. “And why would you do that?”
“Well, I was hoping to put in some extra hours in the office...you know I don’t like to leave the business for too long.”
