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Wes’s face softens. “It’s okay. Say what’s on your mind.”
“I’m just thinking...do you think we should try and reach out to him? It’s been four months now without a peep from him...do you think he cares? Do you think he’s as curious about us as we are about him?”
Wes sighs and runs a hand through his damp hair. “Baby, I don’t know. He might have been my best friend once upon a time, but right now, he feels like a stranger to me. I can’t tell you what that man’s thinking. All I know is that he screwed us both over massively.”
“I know...I’m not saying we should forgive and forget everything. But maybe...I think he has a right to know. He can decide for himself if he wants to give a shit...but it’s a second chance for us all. Maybe it can bring us all back together.”
Wes chews his lip. I can tell he thinks this is a terrible idea. His response to the whole situation has been plain and simple from the start. He thinks that we should just cut him out forever and be done with it.
But there’s a part of me that wants to try again. I think there’s a part of Wes too, even if he’s buried it deep inside himself. I can’t forget the way my father treated us both back at the Halloween extravaganza, but I also can’t forget the blood connection we share. There’s no getting around the fact that he made me who I am today. I’m not sure if I want him to have any influence on how my child turns out, but either way, I want him to have the option to meet my baby. And who knows...his paternal instincts might finally kick in. He failed when it came to me, but a new baby is a second chance for us all. A chance to prove that our hearts aren’t made of stone. Especially my father.
Wes’ heart of stone is cracking a little right before my eyes. He hardened his heart to protect himself from the fallout of the Halloween extravaganza, but I know he cares. I know Wes like the back of my hand, and I can see when he’s hurting, as much as he tries to hide his emotions from me.
“You’re probably right,” he says eventually. “I guess everyone deserves a second chance...but I just worry about you, Zooey. He’s broken your heart before. You’ve given him second chances in the past and he’s thrown them back in your face. This might be the second chance that he’s getting from me, but it’s more than that from you. Which is why I’m finding it so hard right now to find a way to approve of this. I’d love to have my best friend back, I really would, but not at the cost of him upsetting you once again.”
I feel my heart melting. It just goes to show how much he really loves me. Wes always puts me first, even when it’s not about me. And this really isn’t about me...it’s about our unborn child. But I see what he’s talking about. I’ve been burned by him in the past, of course. Wes just doesn’t want to see that happen to me again.
“I think this is different, baby…”
“You might think that...but he’s shown that he can completely lack compassion when it suits him. I know you think a baby is the perfect way to bring us back together...but if we text him now, there’s a high chance he won’t even bother to reply. You know that as well as I do. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up...because in some ways, I know him better than you do. And I don’t think he’s going to give you what you want or deserve.”
I try to swallow the lump forming in my throat. Trust my father to ruin such a perfect evening by making me want to cry. Even without him doing a single thing, he’s managed to upset me. Just like always, I suppose. But part of me thinks this is worth the risk. I can handle him hurting me again. I have grown a thicker skin because of that man. If I don’t ask him to make amends, then I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering if he would have accepted the offer. If I ask and he doesn’t respond, then at least I know he’s not good enough to be a part of my baby’s life.
“I want to do this,” I tell him. “He’s the grandfather...I want my baby to have a good family. I think this could change my father for the better.”
Wes opens his mouth to say something and then shuts it quickly. He knows that he can’t talk me out of this one. So eventually, he sighs and nods to me. He’s agreeing to let me do this.
