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And then somehow, I found myself inviting him over for dinner, which is the last thing that I need right now. I’ve got so much to do, so many things I need to prepare before my due date, but Wes and the doctor are insisting that I take it easy. I laughed when they told me that. How can I take it easy when my father is going to casually stroll back into my life after a year apart? How am I supposed to deal with the fact that he’s here to see my unborn child, but he didn’t lift a finger to raise me, his only daughter?
It’s a lot to take in, but I have to give this a go. I don’t want my son or daughter being raised without loving grandparents. Both of Wes’ parents have passed away, so it’s up to my side of the family. I don’t have to worry about my Mom, of course. She’s already perfect grandmother material. My father, on the other hand, is going to need some serious training. If I decide he’s changed, that is.
He insists that he has. He says that this year without me has made him reevaluate the way he thinks and acts. But I guess I’ll only know if it’s true when I see him here for the first time. I feel sick with nerves, rubbing my baby bump anxiously, but I know that Wes will look after me, no matter the outcome. That’s something to hold on to.
We’re sitting in the living room when the doorbell rings. I try to stand up, but Wes kisses my cheek and goes to the door himself. I peer through the doorway. I don’t want to miss the moment when my father and Wes reunite.
The door opens and my father’s cheerful voice can be heard just outside. I watch his arm extend through the doorway to shake Wes’ hand, and I breathe a sigh of relief. That’s one obstacle jumped.
Now to survive the rest of the evening.
My father steps inside the house, looking around him in awe. He hasn’t changed a bit, except he looks a little more tired. I guess running a business alone for a year takes its toll. I’m not nervous anymore, though. He seems like he’s going to make this whole situation as normal as possible, and I’m okay with that. I just want this to go well.
I almost said no when he asked if he could come and see me. Even with his explanation of why he hadn’t been in touch, I still felt a lot of anger toward him. Still, I’m glad he’s here now. This feels right. I push myself up off the sofa and head over to say hello, my swollen belly protruding in front of me. When my father sees me, he looks so shocked that I almost laugh. It’s almost like he’s never seen a pregnant woman before. Which would half make sense, considering that he disappeared from my mother’s life when she announced she was having me.
“Zooey…” he says gently. “You look…”
“Pregnant?” I finish for him with a smile. He pauses for a moment before letting out one of his booming laughs.
“Pregnant,” he confirms, shaking his head at me. “My little girl...you’re so grown up now.”
It seems to hit him like a tonne of bricks. His eyes grow watery and he steps forward to hug me awkwardly. I allow him to. I can’t recall the last time I got to hug my father. I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief. I catch Wes’ eye and he’s smiling at me. He knows how much this means to me.
As we pull apart, my father offers me a watery smile.
“Zooey...I hope I can make up for all the years we’ve lost together.”
I harden a little at the comment. “I’ve heard that one before…”
“I mean it, darling. You’re important to me, I swear...I know I have a funny way of showing it, but I’m not good at this. I never learned how to be a good parent...that was my fault, of course. When your mother got pregnant with you, I was young and foolish. I’ve been running away from my responsibilities ever since.” He cups my cheek with his hand. “But I’ve learned my lesson. I’m going to make things right. Starting with apologizing to your mother. After everything I put her through...it’s the least she deserves.”
“Damn right,” I say, but I’m not as angry now. I can see in him the willingness to change. It’s right in front of me, clear as day. It feels different to all the other half-hearted apologies he’s dished out. For the first time in his life, he actually seems sincere.
“I’ll prove that I’m going to be a better father,” he says, fumbling for his keys and heading back out to his car. I stand at Wes’ side in the doorway as we wait for him to fetch something from his car.
