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I never even had time to think about what was coming next because, in seconds, the gun was pounding against my face. I felt my teeth fly out of my mouth and the bones breaking in my face… I felt it all. For almost five minutes, I lay there and got the shit beat out of me. I was just waiting for the moment he would pull the trigger and put me out of this misery.
“Awww, look at my baby,” I cooed as I stood in the crowd amongst all my son’s friends, my friends, and our family.
Today, we were celebrating my son’s eleventh birthday, and he was getting out of the car with his father to make his grand entrance into the party. This party was a big deal, and no expense was spared for this day. For so many reasons, this was a momentous occasion. Of course, it’s always a big deal whenever anyone is blessed to see another year of life. On top of that, this was the first birthday in five years that Billion was able to celebrate with us.
I swear the time flew because I remembered my son’s tenth birthday last year, and I’d taken him to Universal Studios. I remember telling him all day that it would be the last birthday he ever had to celebrate without his father. Turning ten years old last year was a big milestone for him, but we had agreed that we wouldn’t do a big birthday party until this year; that way, both of his parents could be in attendance.
At the last minute, Lil Bill finally let us know that he wanted to do a motorcycle themed party. My son was into so many things, including football, loving Fortnite, he had a mean obsession with the Adventures, and a love for motorcycles as well. The huge pavilion that we rented out for the day had been booked for a little over a year, because like I said, we had been preparing for this big day.
Once Lil Bill told us the theme he wanted, we finally made a move. We had to pay the party planner twice her standard rate because leaving her and her team two weeks to make it happen was considered last minute. The four-tiered cake that my son told me he wanted ran his dad a thousand damn dollars. Billion hadn’t been talking to me much these days, and I figured he was probably mad about what happened in the bathroom between me, his chick, and Denim.
Although he was mad at me, he made sure he took care of everything for the party, even though I had the money to handle it all by myself. Any invoice that I got from the party decorators, the cake, the catering, the three motorcycle themed bounce houses, even the very expensive ass motorcycle that our son asked for, he had me send it over to him. Whatever it cost, he just sent the money.
Billion had his issues with me, but I knew that nothing had him madder than having to discover the shit that Denim pulled. I literally found out what happened the same night. I knew Billion like the back of my hand, so when he randomly texted me that night, letting me know that he was taking our son home with him, I knew that some shit had to have gone down. Knowing that I would not get the truth from Billion, I found his mama at the party, and she briefly explained what had happened. Shocked was an understatement to express how I felt once that was revealed. I’ve always said that Khari didn’t look shit like Billion, but I just assumed that Denim’s genes took over. I never thought she would pull some ruthless shit like this on somebody like Billion.
Although my baby daddy and I don’t always see eye to eye, I still sent him a text message that night, basically letting him know to keep his head up. I damn near begged him not to go out and do anything crazy because he still had two kids he needed to be here for. Of course, he didn’t respond to my messages, but at least I said my piece to him, and that’s all that mattered.
I had reached out to Denim a couple of times since the party, but she wouldn’t answer the phone for me, neither would she respond to any of my text messages. Now, word around town is that Billion was out there beating her ass. Maybe she was just embarrassed that the truth had to come out like that, and Billion had to learn the truth around other people. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew she was dead ass wrong. Whenever she picked up the phone for me, I would not jump down her throat and let her know that she was wrong because I was sure she had heard that from all different directions. She hurt both Khari and Lil Bill by doing that snake ass shit.
Billion told me not to let our son know what was going on, so I wouldn’t, although he had been inquiring about why Khari got to stay the night at their father’s house more than he did. I hated lying to my son, but this wasn’t my place, so I would let Denim and Billion figure that situation out.
“That ain’t no baby! That’s a grown ass man! My lil cousin so fuckin’ fineeee, man,” Roheem cooed as he stood beside me and admired my handsome baby stepping out of the truck.
I found a designer in Miami who specialized in kids’ clothing, so she designed my son a custom black and red motorcycle outfit. She customized some designer goggles for him that he had pulled up on his hair, and my baby knew he was fly. It was in his walk. Of course, I eventually gave in and let him get his hair dreaded. He had gotten them done a week ago, and I had to admit, he looked so handsome with his hair in dreads. They were hanging loosely, and just yesterday, his father had taken him to get a perfect line up. There were a couple of chains around his neck, making him look like the smaller version of his dad.
The DJ was spinning Rich Homie Quan’s “Walk Thru” as he made his way into the party. We had a photographer and a videographer there to capture this whole thing, so as he made his way into the party, he was recorded, and pictures were taken. Eleven years ago, I was pushing this little boy out of me, and the thought had me so emotional.
Roheem pulled me to him, and then his silly ass laughed at me.
“You need to have another one, Ms. Thang because you doing too damn much. You acting like his little butt about to leave you and go off to college. Stop crying before you ruin his damn day. On a brighter note, look at Mr. Big Dick over there. Cousinnn, that’s just too much fineness on a damn man. It’s to the point that it ain’t even fair to the other niggas. I’ll give him however many babies he asks me for, and you know I ain’t trying to mess up my good body for just any ole body, but damn! I don’t mind the stretch marks, the baby weight, and whatever else you bitches be getting from popping out these babies,” Roheem said.
The only thing I could do was laugh at his crazy, delusional ass. He was really standing his ass there, talking this shit like he could have a baby, and like Billion would ever even look his way. Billion acted like he hated Roheem. I knew it had nothing with him being gay either. It was just the fact that Billion couldn’t take all the extra shit that my cousin does.
There were no lies told when Roheem talked about how handsome Billion looked today. Granted, he always looked good, but whenever I saw him in full daddy mode, it made him stand out just a little bit more. Just like me, he wore a black birthday shirt, but his had the words, Daddy of
the Birthday Boy, on it. His shirt was a V-neck, and it fit him perfectly. It was the way his arm muscles were flexing in the shirt. A pair of black jeans were on his behind that he sagged a little bit in. Because his shirt was black and red, he wore black and red Balenciaga sneakers.
He had obviously joined our son yesterday on his trip to the barber because he was lined up perfectly too. As always, his waves stood out. He wore one chain around his neck and a nice watch on his wrist that was blinding, although he was standing a few feet away from me. It fucked with me hard to know that my baby daddy had moved, on and whatever he had with the chick from the party, I knew it was real. I watched the nigga with her the whole night, and he was smiling and laughing like a fuckin’ hyena. He liked her, and the more I accepted that, the more my feelings for him would lessen because I would not be lusting behind no nigga who clearly doesn’t want me.
It was just so fuckin’ hard to move on and dismiss what Billion and I once shared. I’ll say it again; this wasn’t just some nigga I was fuckin’ and whose cum I was swallowing whenever he hit me up for a good time. This nigga and I lived together, and we had conversations about marriage. I was a woman—a human being with feelings—so this was just a hard pill for me to swallow.
“You are a fool. I feel bad for you the day you let Billion hear you talking about him that way. He’s going to fuckin’ kill your ass. Move, so I can go and see my baby,” I said to Roheem, and then I playfully pushed him off me.
My son made his way to me first and gave me the first hug of the day. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the top of his head a few times.
“You look so handsome,” I told him the second we pulled away from each other.
“You were crying, Ma? Come on. You trippin’,” he said, sounding and looking just like his damn daddy.
“Boy, hush! I can cry all I want. This day brings back memories of when your big ass head pushed up out of me,” I said, and he rolled his eyes.
He hated it when I talked about my labor with him. Whenever he got slick at the mouth with me, I mentioned the painful experience I had when I brought his butt into this world. He stood in my embrace for a few more moments, and then he ran off to speak to his other family and his friends. Khari was there, running around. Billion’s mom had brought her to the party. That little girl was smiling, so carefree, and not even aware of the mess going on. I felt that it should stay that way because the news would only hurt her. I’d gotten her a birthday shirt as well, which said, Little Sister of the Birthday Boy, because no matter the facts, that little girl is my son’s sister.
My mom was somewhere among all those people, more than likely running her damn mouth. Twinkle and Monterius were there, and I’ll be honest, I hoped a fight wouldn’t break out between the two of them because from far away, I could still see the tension that rested between them. For the most part, they had been doing well at staying away from each other. Twinkle had been with her niece, Dream, the entire time, and Monterius was hanging with some of the niggas. No matter the ill feelings that Twinkle and I might have had toward each other, she was good with my son. She came bearing a whole bunch of birthday gifts for him this afternoon.
Once Lil Bill arrived, the party started. All the kids were running around, and the adults were either eating, running behind their bad ass kids, drinking, or just having fun in general. I saw the truck pull up in the parking lot, which I knew housed our son’s birthday gift. Billion was already over by the truck, so I walked over and joined him. He smelled so good.
“What’s good?” he said.
