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“The drive wasn’t far at all for me. I followed someone to get through the gate. You weren’t answering my phone calls, so I had to come and see you. I just wanted to know how you were doing, although I’m sure you can’t possibly be doing too well. I felt like if I didn’t come over, then it would look like I don’t care when I really do,” I told him.
“Come in,” he said and stepped out of the way.
It was nice and warm in his house, which was perfect for me. I looked around and admired his black living room set. There was a feminine touch to the room, so his mother had to have helped him. A nice, black, furry rug lay in front of the sofa, which gave the area a cozy feel. He had a few pieces of wall art hanging of 2Pac, Notorious BIG, and even Nipsey Hussle, who’d just passed a year ago. All the pictures were painted in black and gold, and they were in big frames.
His circular stairway was the best thing that I had seen thus far. I loved a stairway that overlooked the bottom portion of the house once you got upstairs, and that is exactly how his was. I could still smell the newness of the home, although there was a nice, fresh scent present as well. I was a sucker for a beautiful home, so I couldn’t wait to see more of it.
Billionaire led the way, and we ended up in the kitchen. He flicked the light on the wall, and I fell in love with the black and brown kitchen. I usually loved a white kitchen, but this was beautiful. It made sense because the tiles and everything in the house was almost a medium brown, so it went perfectly with the theme. The appliances were top of the line, and for a townhouse, the kitchen was very big and spacious. The island was huge and lined with six barstool chairs. There was a dining room table off to the side, which could fit six people.
A little further down the hall from the kitchen were two steps that led to the den. The TV that was mounted on the wall had to have been at least ninety inches. Pictures were hanging on the wall of Billionaire’s kids. I smiled when I saw the portraits of Lil’ Bill and Khari. They both were in their school uniforms. There was also a big sectional that could fit at least ten people. The color scheme in the room was red, black, and gray. If Billionaire’s mother did the décor of his home, she should really look into doing this professionally because her ability to make those rooms stand out was on a professional level.
I watched Billionaire hop on the kitchen counter, and the whole time, I felt his eyes on me. I wondered if he thought I was crazy because there I was, at his house, which he hadn’t even given me the address to, and neither did he invite me over. I set the food on the counter and walked over to him. Standing between his legs, I propped both of my elbows on his thighs as I gazed up into his light brown eyes.
He put his hand in my hair, running his fingers back and forth as if he was scratching my scalp for me. Everything about that felt good.
“I’m worried about you,” I told him in all honesty.
My revelation caused him to remove his hand from my hair and put it back on his lap.
“Don’t be. I’m straight,” he lied.
“No, you’re not, Billionaire. A blind man can see that you aren’t straight. I know this isn’t about me, but I don’t like the way you’re shutting me out. We’re supposed to be in a relationship, and with that comes me sharing your burdens. If I’m going to be your girlfriend, then I would like to be there for you when you’re going through something. I know I can’t change the circumstances, but I can be here to at least listen to you vent. I can be here to make sure that you’re eating. I can pray for you. Whatever you need me to do, just stop shutting me out because when you do that, it makes me feel like you don’t think I’m important enough to let me in on your feelings,” I told him.
Billionaire released a sigh and then looked in another direction. He wouldn’t even look me in my eyes.
“You probably don’t want to hear this shit, but if Denim had pulled some shit like this a few years ago, and I wasn’t locked up, I know for a fact that I would have killed her ass. I just know it. Back then, there was no taming me whatsoever. I was like a raging bull, and the only fuckin?
? thing I ever knew to do was to attack. At that moment, when I found out from Denim that Khari wasn’t my daughter, I had a choice. I had to choose whether I wanted to finish the job and choke her ass to death, or if I would let her have her life.
“In the back of my mind, I thought about the fact that if I killed her, I would be hurting my mama, my ole boy, my grandma, my kids, and now you. It wasn’t worth it. That doesn’t mean I don’t still want to do her dirty. I just know that in the end, it ain’t going to be worth it. Even when a nigga was living wrong, I always made sure my kids were straight. I’m not about to sit up here and act like I was there to tuck my kids in bed at night or read them a bedtime story. Nighttime was my hustling hours, but financially, I always made sure my kids and my baby mamas were straight.
“I came home and immediately told both my baby mamas that I wanted to start getting my kids on the weekends once I found a better place to stay. I think everybody is trying to make this shit sound good by telling a nigga that although biologically, Khari isn’t mine, I’m still her father. That shit doesn’t make a nigga feel no better. God gave me this perfect ass, beautiful ass little girl, and she doesn’t even belong to me. Y’all can tell me that she still belongs to me because, at the end of the day, y’all don’t feel this hurt that a nigga is feeling right now. The way my heart is rocking, y’all can’t feel this shit. I appreciate you coming down here to see about me, but Normani, you gotta allow me to go through this shit on my own and—”
“No. I literally just told you I’m not going to let you deal with your problems on your own. I mean, I know there is no comparison, but you’ve been there for me and helped me deal with some of my personal problems. Look how you were there for me when my daddy and I got into it. Just allow me to be there the same way that you are there for me,” I told him.
“How is that situation going with you and your ole boy?” he asked, and I released a sigh.
“At this point, our situation is pretty much nonexistent. The night of your grandmother’s party, when I made it home, he was sitting on my porch. I’ve never looked at my father as a negative person, but these days, I feel like all he does is ignite negativity, and it is really annoying. Of course, he had a problem with me coming into the house so late. Coming home to a place where I pay the mortgage along with every other bill on my own. Of course, the conversation shifted to you, and we went at it. It got really bad. He ended up slapping me—”
“Man, what? He put his fuckin’ hands on you?” Billionaire asked. His tone was deadly, like he wanted to find my father beat him up for putting his hands on me.
“Yeah, but Billionaire, I didn’t come over here to talk about that. I came over here to see how you were feeling. Have you eaten? When is the last time you ate anything?” I asked as I pushed myself away from him to warm up the food that I’d packed.
“Shit, I don’t know. I’m not hungry, so don’t even worry about fixing that for me. I got Khari upstairs in her bedroom, and she’s asleep. She wanted McDonald’s, so I took her before we got here,” he said, and I smiled at the mention of him having her.
Although Billionaire told me not to fix the food, I still removed the lid and placed it in the microwave. I went over to the sink to wash my hands, and once I dried them, I looked inside his refrigerator to find him something to drink. Unsure of what he wanted, I just pulled out a bottle of water. By the time I did all that, the food was warm, so I pulled it out of the microwave. In my hands, I held his food, his water, and a few paper towels. I set the food on the counter next to him and used the fork to stir up the mashed potatoes. The whole time I was doing that, I could feel him watching me.
“Here. You need to eat,” I said and handed him the Tupperware.
“Feed me,” he demanded.
I laughed, thinking he was messing around with me, but he was for real. Once I was back in my spot between his legs, I cut a piece of chicken then put that on the fork along with some mashed potatoes. I was his little servant as I blew over the food then fed it to him. I didn’t mind because at least I had him eating.
Billionaire ate about a quarter of the food before he let me know that he didn’t want any more. I put the leftover food in the refrigerator, and while he gulped down his water, I washed the fork that I’d used.
“Come upstairs with me,” he said after he jumped down from the counter.
I followed him, but before I went up the stairs, I removed my shoes. He led the way, and we walked in silence. Once we were upstairs, Billionaire opened the first door on the left. When he flicked the light on, I smiled in adoration as I looked over at the motorcycle themed room he had for his son. Even the bed was a cute biker theme. He had a desk, a gaming chair, and his closet was open, so I spotted the racks and racks of clothes inside. Lil Bill had everything any little boy could ask for. He had the perfect room, the gaming system, the closest that was filled with top of the line everything, and the perfect father. I didn’t know if Billionaire was into wall art, but there were motorcycle paintings on the wall plus two paintings of his son.
