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“It was supposed to be my treat tonight. My best friend brought me this stuff this morning. You want a piece?” she asked, and I shook my head.
“Nah, I don’t care for cake like that. I’m more of an ice cream type of person,” I let her know.
“You’re probably the first person I ever met in my life who doesn’t eat cake. I guess we learn something new every day,” she said and took a seat at the dining room table.
I saw it in her face that she was tired. Tegan had to have been beating her ass. I took a seat on the other chair right next to her.
“Your pops been by to see her since you came home?” I asked, and she released a sigh.
“No. He always acting like he’s so damn busy. It’s fine, though, because I won’t beg him to see his grandbaby. Times like this is when I need my mother the most. She died when I was six years old from breast cancer. I never told you that. I always just bypassed the conversation and kept it at she was dead, never really going into detail about it with you. From there, it’s just been me, my father, and his wife. His wife never cared to have children, so living with them, she and I didn’t have that good of a relationship. You would think that my father wouldn’t have married her since it was clear as day that she didn’t like me, but I swear, niggas be so blinded by pussy that they can’t even see when they are making the most fucked up decisions in life.
“My father and I really haven’t been close in years because when my mother died, he just moved on like it was nothing, and he had a way of always putting his wife before me and my needs. Luckily, I’ve always had dance as a passion, so when I was going through something deep, I was always able to escape and run back to that.
“As mad as I am with my dad, I just really wish that he could at least act like he gives a fuck, you know? When I found out I was pregnant, the first thing that crossed my mind was to get an abortion. I wanted to terminate the pregnancy, because the way you acted after finding out that I was pregnant, I already knew you would tell me to get an abortion. At the same time, a bitch just finally wanted to experience real love again.
“After my mama left me at six years old, I haven’t experienced real love ever since. I felt like my child would be the one to give it to me. I never wanted shit from you, Monterius. I have my own money, my own spot, and I pay my own bills. I just wanted you to be there for our child, especially since I’d already made up in my mind that I was going to keep the baby. We never addressed this, but negro, I didn’t trap you. I was on birth control. You’ve seen me take my pills right in front of you sometimes. There were just times when I would get home late from work or whatever the case may be, and I would forget to take them, so it set my body off. If I’m going to trap a man, it ain’t going to be someone that’s dealing with somebody.
“Any time we had sex, I would always be under the impression that you and Twinkle were broken up because that’s what you would tell me. That was foolish on my part, though. This is something that I can honestly say that I’ve learned from. Whoever I take seriously the next time around, I want him to know my birthday, my favorite color, and whatever else it is for him to know before I start pushing out his babies,” she said, giving me a mouthful.
“Let’s start over then. That’s what the fuck I was in the kitchen trying to do, but you started talking about being a rebound and shit,” I said.
This wasn’t even coming from a place of me seeing that Twinkle had moved on, so I felt like I had to turn around and do the same shit. If we going to be honest, Twinkle and I were done from the moment shorty packed her shit up and moved to her mama’s house. In her head, that’s when the break up began, but because I loved her ass so much, I was holding on to that little piece, thinking that we could somehow try to rekindle our relationship, but now that I knew it’s over for real, I had to do what the fuck I had to do that would make a nigga happy.
Nah, I didn’t want to marry my baby mama tomorrow, but I wouldn’t mind us getting to a point where we could get to know each other on some deeper level shit, and wherever that led us, I would be cool with that. Before Trinity and I did anything going further, we needed to work on the friendship side of things, because it felt like I had a baby with a stranger.
“That’s because I am, Monterius! You know that if we never had a baby together, and if Twinkle wasn’t engaged right now, you wouldn’t even look my way on some serious shit. You and Twinkle broke up plenty of times, and throughout that time, you had numerous opportunities to take me seriously, but you never did until now! I ain’t going to allow you to play on my heart like that. I’m a woman. Therefore, I know that you still love Twinkle. It’s just that love isn’t enough right now for her to try to work things out for the two of you because of the child that you and I share. On top of that, who’s to say if she’s even going to marry that nigga?
“When the two of you finally decide that y’all want to work it out, then what? What the fuck am I supposed to do then? Just sit back with a broken heart? Nah, it’s not happening. Although I’ve never had anything even close to what you and Twinkle have, I’ve witnessed relationships through my friends. I’m old enough to know how love works. If Twinkle loves you, I mean, really, really loves you, then there may be a little hope for the two of you. I know you’ll choose her over me in a heartbeat. I won’t be your second runner up, Monterius. My heart is not a toy, and I just won’t allow you to even play on it like that,” she said, being firm in her answer.
I shook my head because, honestly, she had it all fuckin’ wrong.
“You have every right to feel the way you feel, Trinity, but to keep it a hunnid’ with you, you don’t know Twinkle the way that I know her. For her to pretty much move the fuck out of Miami, go and be with the next nigga, all engaged and shit, I know it’s no coming back to the shit that she and I once shared. Truth be told, I don’t want the shit back that we used to share. Same thing my mama told you applies to me. Meaning, what the fuck I want to do with a woman who don’t want to have anything to do with me? Twinkle is not going to ever forgive me for the baby that I have with you. If we work some shit out later on down the line, she going to hang that shit over my head for the rest of my life. I ain’t going to let nobody make me feel bad for being a part of my daughter’s life.
“I ain’t asking for your hand in marriage, shorty. Right now, all a nigga wants to do is be friends and get to know each other a little better because we never got the chance to do that shit in the past. I want to be able to know when important events are happening in your life, like today, so a nigga don’t got to come over to your crib, all empty-handed and shit. Now, can we cut this motha fuckin’ birthday cake and sing happy birthday to yo’ old ass?” I asked, and that last part got her to laugh. She had a nice ass laugh, showing off her pretty set of teeth and the one dimple that she had in her right cheek.
“Old? Nigga, I’m younger than you. Why you in such a rush to cut my cake, and you don’t even eat cake?” she asked, standing up from her chair. She then went into the kitchen to retrieve a knife from the drawer.
“I’ll eat a small piece for you. That way, you ain’t gotta have birthday cake on your own for your big day. I can’t wait for Tegan to turn one. I want her to have a big ass birthday party,” I said with a big smile o
n my face as I thought about the celebration of my daughter’s big day.
Trinity smiled too as she opened the clear container that housed her birthday cake.
“I was thinking something small for her first birthday, but I guess we can talk about that more once we get closer to that day. I scheduled her an appointment next week for her to do her newborn baby pictures. The shoot is going to be here at the house,” Trinity told me right after she set her candles down on the cake.
“Cool. I’ll be here,” I let her know.
She dimmed the lights a little bit in the kitchen, and then I sang happy birthday to her. She cut herself a big piece of cake and set it down on one of the plates, and then she put a small piece down on my plate like I’d asked her to. We stayed at the table for a little bit, and while she went to take her bath and shit, I chilled out in the room with my baby. Before Trinity left for her bath, she gave a nigga strict instructions about not waking Tegan up, but I just wanted to hold her little body in my arms and kiss her on those big ass cheeks. I was purposely making noise in the room with my keys, thinking it would wake her up, but she was knocked out cold.
Trinity eventually finished with her bath, and I joined her in the den, so we could watch a movie. Only about twenty minutes into the movie, and she had already fallen asleep on the couch. I knew that she had been tired the whole time I was there. Instead of letting her sleep on the couch, I carried her into her bedroom and laid her on the bed. Before leaving the house, I went into my daughter’s room and kissed her, then I dipped.
I really ain’t know where this shit was going to lead between Trinity and me. I liked the little vibe that we had going on, though. Although I had known shorty for a couple of years, it felt like I was getting to know her in a different way, on a different level, and I actually liked this shit.
“Just five minutes, baby. You can do me right here on the countertop,” I whined as I pulled Truth into me by his shirt, trying to get him to pull his dick out and fuck me right here, but he kept telling me, “I got you tonight.”
I swear, I was obsessed with this nigga. He talked so much shit on the phone when I went back home to Miami for a few days, so he could go to Chicago. He just kept telling me that when he got me back out to Cali, I would not want to go back home, and he was right. It had been almost a month since I’d been back to Miami, and honestly, I didn’t miss it. I would have felt bad if I was neglecting Dream, but that little girl wasn’t thinking about me. She was having the time of her life in Miami, living with her grandmother, attending her same school, and not having to leave her friends.
Granted, I missed my family, and I missed Normani a lot, but Cali just gave off a different vibe that Miami didn’t give me, which is why I wasn’t in a rush to get back. Being with Truth, any doubts in my head about which man I wanted to be with, I swear I was rid of all that doubt now. Truth was the definition of a real fuckin’ man! What I loved about him was that although he was a big star player in the NBA, he still made me a priority. He never let it get to the point that I was missing him too much and feeling like I would lose my fuckin’ mind. As women, I swear, one of the main things we ask for in a relationship is just to feel like our presence isn’t going unnoticed. Just let us know that you can feel us.
