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“You gon’ be real upset when you find out that you carrying my daughter. They say when you fuck from the back, you can get a boy. I done had you down on yo’ ass, on yo’ stomach, against the wall, on yo’ side, you done rode me, so I really don’t know which position I scored with. Damn. That just means we fuck too much if I can’t remember.” He groaned and pulled me to him.
Like no one else was out here, he lifted me by my behind, held me in his arms, and slowly bounced me.
“Billionaire, stop! If you going to do all this, you might as well pull your dick out and fuck me! Put me down. It’s kids out here,” I said, half protesting because I really didn’t want him to put me down. I felt so comfortable in his arms.
“Shit. That’s what I’m trying to do. Come on. Let’s sneak out to the room that’s down here. I don’t even need a minute. I need like forty-five seconds with you. I hate when you wear shit like this around me. I get to tripping.” He groaned and then leaned his head in and bit me softly on my neck, causing me to let out a groan mixed with a moan.
I thought about the guest bedroom on the lower level of our home that we could use the back door to sneak in and get a quickie, but I also thought about how everyone would be looking for us. I had a way of walking funny after having sex, so I knew my walk would tell it all, and everyone would know what we ran off to do. My mama was there. It was one thing for her to know that I was having sex, but to be having sex while she’s not that far away from me, no, I couldn’t.
“Billion, put that girl down, so we can find out what my grandbaby is going to be! Come on, with your mannish ass,” his mama came over and said, making me laugh as I was lowered down to the ground.
Billion’s mother was in blue because, just like me, she was hoping for a boy. She was always going off about how Khari was the only granddaughter she would need because that little girl was a handful, especially with her mouth. It was half and half today because about 50% of the people there wanted us to have a girl, then the other 50% were hoping for a boy.
Never did I think in a million years that a big part of my life would be happening, like my having my first child, and my father wouldn’t be there to witness these precious moments. It just felt so weird that these people were there to support my husband and me, yet my father was nowhere to be found. The crazy thing is, he may not be a part of my life, but he always knew what the hell was taking place with me. Nobody from his church was there, so hopefully, this would be something that he wouldn’t get the privilege to know about.
I didn’t even want him to know what my baby looked like. That’s just how deep my hatred for him had been running these days.
“Trust me, Ma, she ain’t want me to put her down. You came one second too early. I almost had her agreeing to follow a nigga to the back room,” he said, and I playfully hit him on his arm because he was talking too much.
He was right, though; it would only have taken just a little bit more convincing on his part, and I promise you, he would have had my legs to the ceiling by now.
“Everything that you got two of today, like the crib, the strollers, you might as well keep all of it. There’s no doubt in my mind that right after you pop this baby out, another one will follow it within a matter of months,” his mom said, reciting what everybody had been telling us for a while.
When she left, my mom came over. I hugged her and kissed her cheek. She smiled big as she put her hands on my stomach and massaged it in a circular motion.
“I’m so happy, Mommy,” I told her, beaming with joy.
“I know you are. I can see it all over your face. I’m proud of you, Normani. You never let anyone steal your joy. Not even your own father,” she said, and her voice cracked.
“Don’t cry, Ma. We’re about to find out if I’m carrying your handsome little grandson,” I said and pulled her to me, not wanting to see my mother cry.
Life had been hard on my mother over the past few months. It was like she wanted to tell more of what my father had done, but each time I felt that she was about to tell the truth about my father, she would always hold back. It was something about him that we didn’t know. For example, a couple of months ago, my olde
r sister, Naomi, commented, “Ma, your marriage couldn’t have been that bad.” Mind you, Naomi only said that because my mom had mentioned that she hadn’t been happy in over a decade.
My mom responded, “My child, if only you knew.” Since then, I’ve been wondering what my mama meant by that, but she still hadn’t said it.
She’d already let me know that my father used to be abusive back in the day, but she didn’t go into detail. It seemed like she didn’t want to tarnish the image we had of our father more than it already was, which is why she wasn’t letting my sister and me in on certain things. She would rather suffer in silence. I just wanted her to gain her happiness back. So far, she had been doing everything that she talked about doing, like getting on a schedule to preach at local prisons a few days a week, and she’d even done it at a couple of shelters as well.
I wanted my mom to be in a place where she no longer had to be in any pain when it came to my father. That was why it meant so much for the church to hurry up and get remodeled. I wanted her to have something of her own and follow her passion because I knew how much my mother loved to minister and sing. My mom knew the bible like I knew medicine. Whenever someone was feeling any emotion, whether it was sadness, depression, anger, whatever, she knew exactly what scripture to reference.
She had gone long enough, standing in the shadows of my father. It was her turn to show out. I held onto her for a few more minutes, and then Billionaire’s mother took the microphone from the DJ and called my husband and me over because it was time to find out what we were having.
There were so many people crowded in our backyard, and everyone already had their phones in their hands, ready to capture this moment. My husband held the lighter, which he would use to light the box on the ground, which housed the fireworks. Khari and Lil Bill were standing beside me, both jumping up and down, ready to see if they were about to have a little brother or a sister.
“Okay. We’re going to count down. Y’all ready?” Billionaire’s mother asked over the mic.
Everyone screamed that they were ready, and then the countdown began…
“Ten… nine… eight…”
We finally got to, one and my husband lit the box. In less than a second, pink fireworks burst into the air. I released a spoiled scream once I saw that it was a girl, and I didn’t get what I wanted. My husband beat on his chest, and then he ran over and lifted me in the air, kissing me all over my face as he expressed his happiness. He’d gotten exactly what he wanted. I couldn’t even be mad that I didn’t get my handsome, juicy son because the excitement that came from my husband overshadowed all that.
I looked into the crowd of people, and everyone was pleased with the outcome. Even people like me, who were team boy, were happy about our daughter. My husband eventually put me down, and once he did, I hugged my mother, my sister, and everyone else. Fireworks were still going off in the background, making this moment so special for all of us.
Two hours later
“You should sleep real good tonight. You played your little heart out all night,” I said to Khari as I assisted her with putting on her pajamas.
