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“Geez, Emma,” he said, shaking his head. He found the correct channel and plunked down beside me on his green velour sofa.

“It looks nice in here,” I remarked as we sat through some commercials, since it was, technically, a bit cleaner than usual. “Very thrifty,” I added, giving an approving little nod.

“Can you believe I found this couch on the street?”

“Do you mean literally? I guess so.”

“I changed out the legs for these new ones, and it gave it a whole new look.”

“Clever. Ooh, look! It’s starting!” I popped my Capri Sun straw into the pouch and took a sip.

“Do you ever think it’s weird how much time we spend together in our bathrobes?” asked Pete.

“Shhh. There he is. Bellamy Timberfrost. That’s him.”

“That’s him?”

“Be nice. I love him.”

Pete took a radish off a small chipped plate and crunched into it, turning up the television as a courtesy to me.

“So… Bellamy Timberfrost, ladies and gentlemen!” Bobby Maze was saying, holding out his hands to display my future husband. The audience clapped and cheered as Bellamy gave them a nervous little wave and took a seat.

“I love shy guys,” I said.

“I’m shy,” said Pete.

“You do infomercials for a living.”

“But it’s a struggle for me.”

“Shhh. You’re not taking this seriously.”

H

e made the gesture of locking his lips with a tiny key and tossing it over his shoulder.

“Well Bellamy, let me just say, it’s a pleasure to have you here. Now, for those of you at home who are not familiar, let me give you a little background: America watched tonight as Bellamy proposed to Alanna Rutherford…” Bellamy noticeably flinched at the mention of her name. Alanna’s glorious likeness appeared on the screen. She was beaming, looking youthful yet wise, draped in a sparkly purple gown and posing in an angular hunch like a supermodel.

Pete bit into another radish, rolling his eyes, but honoring his pledge to not talk.

“So Bellamy,” said Bobby Maze, his brow creasing in practiced conspiratorial empathy, “did you watch tonight’s episode?”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, I watched it.”

“And was it hard to relive that night?”

“Yeah, it was.”

“I take it you had no idea that Alanna was going to choose Antonio?”

“No idea, man. I had no idea.”

“Let’s watch it again, in case anyone at home missed it,” said Bobby. I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the depressing image of Bellamy, dropping to one knee, his eyes full of hope. Then they cut to Antonio and Alanna kissing, and finally to Bellamy clomping off on the camel.

“That was hard to watch,” said Bobby Maze, shaking his head.

“Yeah,” said Bellamy. He looked like he wanted to die.

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