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“Ouch Betsy! You think I can’t handle it? That just makes me want to do it even more.”
“You totally missed the point if ‘handle’ is the word you’re going to focus on. I think you’re very strong, and you can handle anything. What I meant is that you’re prissy, and stuck up, and fussy, and demanding, and a perfectionist, and most girls who go on shows like that are sloppy trainwrecks, and not only wouldn’t Bellamy pick you, because you simply aren’t what guys consider to be fun, but being there and having it filmed and broadcasted would make you crazy. And they always have messy kitchens on those reality shows. You hate messy kitchens. See, this isn’t going to work.”
“You think I can’t be a trainwreck? You think Bellamy wouldn’t pick me? Is that how everyone thinks of me? I’ll show you! I’ll show all of you!”
“Calm down.”
“I am calm!”
“Emma, hear me out. Guys want the party girl. That’s not you.”
“Alanna wasn’t a party girl.”
“No, but she was gorgeous.”
“So, I’m not?”
“Of course not, Em. No offense, but none of us are.”
“I thought we were.”
“That’s sweet, but no.”
“You think I’m not fun?”
“Not in a hootin’ hollerin’ cowboy hat and bikini top wearing way. Which is, hello, what
guys want.”
“Bellamy is different.”
She started laughing. She laughed and laughed until I set down the phone on my windowsill and watched the continuous swirls of snow cascading down like feathers. Her laughter went on, a gobbly little song echoing against the pane of glass. When finally it trailed off and I heard her chirping, “Emma? Emma?” I picked up my phone again.
“You’re being pretty harsh, you know.”
“I know, but I have to be. It seems like you’re serious and I need to stop you.”
“I am serious. I have this feeling about him, which, you know me, I never get feelings, so I am taking it seriously. I think he is my future husband. I really do.”
“Well, fine. Apply. But what are you going to do if they actually want you to go on the show? You have an amazing job. Are you just going to up and quit it?”
“I have to admit, when I decided last night that I wasn’t going to work today, this wave of relief flooded over me. It was kind of a wake-up call. I think work is becoming too much of my life. Maybe going on the show would be healthy for me.”
“Healthy? You’re turning into such a hippie!”
“Betsy, you’re so extreme.”
“Am not! Fine. Apply.”
“I will. And as for my job, this will be just a small break. No big deal. You know, even if they told me I couldn’t come back and I had to start over from scratch, I have so many client referrals that I think I could get rolling again really easily. You know, branch out on my own. Actually, this could end up being the perfect opportunity to start my own business. See, everything about this plan is solid.”
“Well, Emma, it sounds like you have it all worked out. I have to grab some lunch before I run out of time. Good luck. Let me know if the application process is easy. Maybe I’ll go on the show with you; I’d love to travel all over the world. Wouldn’t that be fun? Me and you on a show together, flying around to exotic places. Maybe Rachel would come with too.”
“Betsy! This is serious. Rachel is married! This is a genuine search for true love.”
“Okay. Got it. So it will be just you and me doing it then.”
“You wouldn’t. What if he picked you instead of me?”
