AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Afterward, she lay in his arms, his chin resting upon her head, and she listened hungrily to his words.
“It cannot, will not end. We are meant,” he whispered softly. “You must be mine in name, as well as body, my love.”
“Hush, Godwin…that can’t be,” she answered gravely. She had not expected this kind of talk.
“I will not demean you, demean our love by keeping you as my mistress. No…my darling, that would never do,” he said determinedly.
“What of Roderick? Would you shame him? Oh, my love, leave well enough alone. I am content to have stolen moments with you,” she said gently.
“No, Heather, I am not content to live half a life,” he growled. He held her face. “I have lived a sham of a life with Sara. There was never any love between us. There was only Roderick. I intend to see my solicitors and divorce her.”
“Godwin…no, you must not. It isn’t done…that would bring shame to your house.”
“Shame? She brings shame to my house. Don’t you see? It is the only answer. And divorce is done from time to time, one way or another,” he said, his voice firm. “I will see that Roderick is not hurt by this. He is my son, and my heir. I shall not use him to free myself of her unless she forces me to. I shall provide for Sara’s needs—send her to London, but I will be rid of her once and for always. I will not suffer this marriage any longer.”
Heather begged him to reconsider, but his mind was made up.
And so it was that Godwin of Ravensbury made the second fateful decision there at Land’s End, their Windmera.
~ Four ~
HOW COULD SHE SUSTAIN THE shame? Sara paced and wrung her hands. She would never be able to hold her head up. Oh…faith, how the ladies of Cornwall would point and whisper. She would not let him divorce her! She could not allow this to happen.
He could only divorce her through an act of Parliament, but he had told her that he had already made arrangements. It wasn’t done. Divorce was not an acceptable manner of handling an unhappy marriage in their society. He could keep a mistress. She could go her own way. That was how matters of the heart were handled amongst their own. How could he treat her thusly?
Well, he needed her to sign the deed of separation. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t sign it.
However, she could clearly recall the stone hardness in his eyes when she told him she wouldn’t sign.
“Sign willingly, Sara, or you will live to regret what will follow!” he had seethed low and furiously. “I will not tolerate this farce of a marriage any longer.”
“No, I won’t sign. What can you do to me that divorce wouldn’t do? You have no just cause,” she had answered, and realized she had been a tad too smug and said quite the wrong thing.
“Really? You think not?” he returned coldly.
“Indeed, you had just better forget your little jade or keep her hidden on the side!” she snapped.
He had taken a sharp step towards her and for a moment she was frightened. He had never struck her, and over the years she had taunted him enough to try his patience. She watched as he gained control of himself. She had never seen him quite this angry. There was a streak of hatred in his eyes and a sense of violence in his demeanor.
She watched as his body shook with emotion. “Never—do you hear me, Sara, never insult her again!” He eyed her and his voice was low and sharp. “Listen to me, Sara. I will have this divorce, even if I must dredge up the past.”
“What are you saying?” she asked fearfully.
“I have no wish to hurt Roderick. I hope you will not put me in a position where I will have no choice,” he answered, a sneer marring his fine features. “Sara, do you think I didn’t know you have been sleeping with half the county?” He made an inarticulate sound. “I knew and didn’t care…even when my friends…never mind. As I said…don’t buck me on this or your name will be ruined for more than just a divorce. I will have our marriage annulled, which would pull Roderick directly into it!”
She thought he was bluffing. She could not believe he would hurt Roderick. He loved the boy, far more than she did. Truth be told, she couldn’t abide the sight of her son. He reminded her of a youthful indiscretion that led her to this point. She put up her chin. “If you think to humiliate me by announcing that Roderick is…not yours, if that is how you wish to proceed, then do your best. What do I care if Roderick learns the truth?”
He stared at her for a long moment before answering, “Your lack of affection for your own son is beneath contempt, but no more than I expected from you. However, do not believe that I shall not do what I must. I do assure you, it is not what I want. I love the boy, but I’ll not sacrifice my future for either of you. I will, if I must, explain to him that I love him and your and my situation has naught to do with my love for him. So yes, I am ready to go that route if I must. The notoriety will ruin you, Sara, even more than a divorce. If you accept, I will buy you a London townhouse and set you and the boy up with everything you could ever want, providing you allow him to visit me as much as I want. That is a non-negotiable term. If you do not sign the papers, you will be ruined by your own hand, not mine!”
Pacing, now in her room, she realized she should have taken his warning more seriously. Godwin was not generally a hard man. Indeed, his nature had always been pliable and gentle. However, she now recognized he was desperate to be rid of her…to have a new wife, perhaps children with that new wife.
What should she do? What? She knew from his perspective he owed her nothing. He had given her his name and more. She knew in the eight years they had been married he had been kind enough not to flaunt any of his indiscretions, even when she had not returned that favor. Who could have guessed that he would fall in love with this…this nobody!
He had said he had friends in Parliament, and that he would tell them he had discovered she was unfaithful before their marriage and that Roderick wasn’t his. He could do that. He could have their marriage annulled. Roderick? Roderick would be called a bastard and she would lose all standing. Would he do that to Roderick? Was he bluffing? He must be bluffing. He wouldn’t do that to the boy. He really loved her son in ways she couldn’t fathom.
A month passed and Lady Ravensbury sustained yet another shock. She wasn’t sure what Godwin had been doing during this time, but as he never again broached the subject of divorce, she assumed he had perhaps put the issue aside because of Roderick.
She and Godwin maintained separate bedrooms and had done so for years, but she was aware that he left the house very early and did not return until very late. She believed he was perhaps playing house with his doxy somewhere, and was content at least that he had not bothered her about the divorce.
