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There was silence. Harry petted Magenta to soothe her, and hoped it helped.
“While you were gone at uni, things got worse. Everywhere I turned, people were telling me I was dumb. The kids at school. The teachers who tried to push me. My mum, who kept reassuring me that it was okay to be stupid. That she was happy that I would never want to leave her and go to college, like Grace did.” She scoffed. “Mum’s reassurance was a lot like other people’s bullying.” She sighed at the memory, and Harry clenched his jaw with the need to have a little talk with her mother.
“I knew I had to do something to defend myself,” Magenta said. “I had to learn how to care less about the fact I was so thick. I had to stop being a target for everyone. So I changed. I became Magenta. Magenta skipped school and flipped off the teachers when they tried to push her too hard. Magenta punched the kids who called her names. Magenta disrupted the classes she couldn’t cope with. I was particularly bad in English class, which made Mrs. Adams sad. I still see the tears in her eyes. I hated that look. I hated her for pitying me.”
“Maybe she was worried about you, baby.”
“Maybe.”
“When you came back after your first term at university, I couldn’t let you know how dumb I was. I wanted you to think well of me. I wanted you to think I was normal. I couldn’t stand the thought that you might look at me the way the other kids did, like I was nothing. If the normal kids noticed how stupid I was and thought less of me, then how would someone as smart as you feel about it? I couldn’t take the chance that you would reject me. It would have broken me. So I rejected you first.” She took a deep breath. “It was the right thing to do. We’re worlds apart. You’re a genius with a business that earns millions. You can hold your own with governments, academics and security specialists. You’re smart, kind, funny and confident. And you can kick ass with the best of them.
“I work in a lingerie shop. I never finished school. I don’t have an email account, or text people, because I can’t read and write properly. I’ve never read a book all the way through because the words jump around and it takes me a day to read a page. I struggle reading maps, signs and instructions on medication. I’m not funny, kind or confident. I pretend to be. Mostly I’m just prickly. I know, deep inside, with an unshakeable certainty, that I am not as clever as the people around me and that I’ll be ashamed when they find out. All of my energy goes into hiding who I really am—the stupid girl. The one that can’t even fill in a form. Even the twins don’t know how dumb I am.”
She wriggled in his arms and Harry let her turn. She lay on her back beside him, looking up at him. “You understand, don’t you? A relationship between us would never work. You would get bored being with someone like me. You’d get frustrated because I couldn’t keep up with you intellectually, or you’ll become embarrassed because I can’t do the basic stuff other people can do. Do you see why I told you to leave me alone all those years ago? Do you understand why nothing has changed?” She shook her head. “No, some things have changed. You’re even smarter, and now you’re sexy and respected too. But I’m still the same. I’m still here. In town. Wearing black and cheesing people off. You need to go back to London where you belong.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “And please take Executive Barbie with you. The town isn’t ready for her.”
Harry attempted a smile at her joke about Rachel. He gently brushed her hair back from her face, then caressed her cheek. It would be so easy to fall into those wide honey eyes of hers. So beautiful. So fragile. Although she’d beat him up if he told her so.
His voice cracked when he spoke. “You’re not stupid, dumb, dull, thick or even a moron. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You’re talented and skilled.” He kissed the end of her nose and watched as unshed tears pooled in her eyes, making them sparkle. “There’s a written test for becoming a caving leader, isn’t there? That’s why you haven’t taken the exam.”
She bit her bottom lip as she nodded.
“Oh, baby.” Harry wrapped her in his arms and felt his heart ease as she wound hers around his waist.
“You won’t tell anyone, will you, Harry?” she whispered against his neck. Her fear was like a knife to his gut.
Harry leaned up on his elbow to look down into her gorgeous face. She took his breath away. He gently caressed her cheek.
“There’s nothing to tell,” he said softly. “You aren’t stupid. You’ve had a lot to deal with and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you get through it.”
One lone tear escaped and trailed down her cheek.
“Magenta.” Harry pressed his nose to hers. “You’re perfect the way you are. Nothing could make me think less of you. Nothing.” He leaned back to look in her eyes. “You’ve got to know I love you, baby.” Her breath hitched. He saw a flicker of hope before she masked it. “I do. I love you exactly as you are.”
She started to shake her head. Denying his words.
“Sh.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “Don’t think about it. You don’t have to say anything. Nothing you can say, or do, will change how I feel anyway. I came back for you, Magenta. I might be years too late, but I came back. And I do love you. Believe that. I do love you.”
He lay on his back and pulled Magenta into his arms, where he held her close. For a long time they lay like that, listening to the silence, watching the shadows, until he felt Magenta fall asleep. Harry kissed the top of her head.
He’d help Magenta see that she was nothing like she’d described.
She was perfect.
And she was his.
18
Magenta woke to find herself alone in bed and her clothing gone. She was dressed only in her underwear and had no recollection of taking her clothes off. Harry. She’d been so worn out after their chat that she’d slept like the dead. She groaned at the ceiling, wondering where he was now and feeling grateful that he’d left her with underwear.
The room tilted as she turned towards the clock by her bed. She had a hangover. An emotion hangover, which was the worst kind, because you still remembered every traumatic thing you did or said to get it. She glanced at the time, relieved to find that she had an hour before she was due at work.
The door was kicked open and a grinning Harry entered carrying a tray loaded with food. “I made breakfast.”
His smile had a daze-inducing effect on her sanity. He was dressed in yesterday’s jeans, but his feet and chest were bare. Magenta snatched the sheet and pulled it up to under her chin, making Harry laugh.
At the sight of him, memories of his whispered words from the night before flooded her mind. He’d said he loved her. It didn’t feel real. She wasn’t convinced she hadn’t dreamed the whole thing.
“What’s with all the vegan stuff in the fridge?” He placed the tray on the bed beside her.
