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Mark my words, Gandalf the White boomed, no good will come of this.
“I miss Gandalf the Grey,” Donna told him. “At least he knew how to have fun.”
Is that what you’re doing? Hermione said.
Harry Potter’s mother appeared. Of course she’s having fun. She waved a hand around. Look at this. She has the stars, the moon, a beautiful setting and wonderful food. I hope you enjoy every minute of it, darling.
He’s going to crush her heart. Katniss Everdeen walked out from amongst the trees to join them. Don’t worry. When he does, I’ll deal with him. She patted her bow.
Do you really think violence is the answer? Molly Weasley said as she fussed with the stove. What she thought she would make on it, Donna didn’t know.
Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, twirled through the room. What a magical place! How romantic! This is the perfect place to fall in love.
Donna glared at her. “Why are you here? I’ve never drawn you.”
Belle looked sad as she tugged at her voluminous yellow dress. Yes, you have. It was a long time ago. You loved my story. You thought that Beast should have stayed the way he was and never turned back into a prince. She gave Donna a chiding look. Do you have any idea how much hair he shed everywhere? I was so pleased when he lost that look. He’s so handsome. It makes a girl swoon.
I prefer books to boys. Hermione stuck her nose in the air.
Belle’s eyes went wide. Have you read Wuthering Heights? I adore that book. What about Pride and Prejudice?
I love Pride and Prejudice. It’s wonderful to meet another reader.
Belle hooked her hand through Hermione’s arm. I must show you Beast’s library. Between you and me, it was a big selling point in our relationship.
They walked off into the trees.
Are you going to have sex with him? Molly Weasley asked.
Mum! Ron appeared beside his mother, looking humiliated.
Hush, she told him. If she’s going to have sex, she needs to make sure it’s safe. Don’t forget about protection. She rooted around in her apron pocket while Ron’s whole head turned red. Here it is. She put a piece of paper on the table in front of Donna. That’s the best protection spell out there. Say that three times before you get busy, and you’ll be fine.
“I think a condom might be a better idea,” Donna said. “But I have no intention of having sex, so it’s all good.”
I feel sick, Ron whined.
Donna, my girl, Gandalf said. Get up to your room now, before you get yourself into trouble you can’t get out of.
I agree with him, Katniss said. You don’t look like you have any survival skills. It would be better if you ran.
“That’s it!” Donna shot to her feet and pointed towards the exit. “Everyone, out now. I’ve had it with your interference and advice. Go!”
“Uh, Donna,” a very real voice came from behind her. “Should I be worried? Maybe call someone? Like a doctor?”
She groaned as she turned to Duncan who was scanning the room to see who she was talking to.
“Would you believe me if I said I was talking to the moths?” There were two fluttering around the light overhead.
“No.”
“That’s what I thought.” She sank back into her seat.
“Spill,” he ordered, placing a bottle of wine on the table in front of her, along with a glass. He opened a bottle of water for himself and sipped at it. “I won’t give up until you tell me. I can be really tenacious about these things.”
“No kidding.” She eyed his untouched dessert. “I’ll do it if you share.”
He chuckled and pushed the food into the middle of the table. When she reached for it, he snatched it back. “Start talking before you take a bite.”
