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Betty ignored them both, too busy focusing on her list. “Number one,” she said, her voice reverberating around the room and making people cringe. “I want to be called Empress Betty by everyone in town.” There were loud groans. “I considered Queen Betty, but that sounds like a drag act, and England already has a Queen Betty.”
“This is hell,” Josh said to anyone who would listen.
He wasn’t wrong.
“Number two,” Betty carried on like she wasn’t aware of the chaos she was causing with every word out of her mouth. “I want free pies for life from Morag’s bakery.”
Morag shot to her feet, followed closely by her two cronies, who belonged to her morality society. “I am not giving you free anything.” As she spoke, she stretched out an arm and pointed at Betty. What that was supposed to achieve, Dougal didn’t know.
Betty’s answering smile was sly. “If you don’t, your rent might double, and there will be a lot of cheesed off people who can’t talk me into selling to them.”
“This is an outrage,” Morag shouted.
Again, someone who wasn’t wrong.
“I will never give you free pies,” Morag declared.
Caroline cleared her throat and, as if she’d waved a magic wand, there was instant silence. How did she do that?
“May I suggest that we take the cost of Betty’s ‘free’ pies from council funds? Seeing as everyone in town will benefit from this arrangement.”
There was a murmur of approval, and Morag nodded before sitting back down in a huff.
“Still free for me,” Betty taunted her nemesis.
Morag’s two friends placed restraining hands on her as Betty blithely carried on.
“Number Three. I want a job dyeing hair at the spa.”
That caused laughter. It was well known around town that she’d been angling for that job since Jodie opened the place. It was why she’d taken to dyeing her head blue. As a sort of audition for the role.
“Not going to happen,” Jodie said from where she sat next to her husband, Mitch, in the front row.
“Even if the town is goin’ tae suffer because you say no?”
Jodie pinned Betty with a stare. “Not. Going. To. Happen.”
The room held its collective breath as the two women stared each other down. Dougal’s money was on Jodie. She was the only person he’d ever met who’d made Betty back off. If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn’t have believed it.
“Then I want to work reception and book in all the beauty appointments,” Betty said, making people gasp with the shock of seeing her cave.
“No,” Jodie said.
“Then I want to wax off Dougal’s beard.” Betty grinned at hi
m as he gasped, his hands automatically going to his beard as if to protect it.
Jodie stared at him, apparently considering the demand.
“Over my dead body,” he said.
“That would work for me,” Betty answered.
“Move on from the spa,” Jodie told her. “Nothing on your list that’s even vaguely related to my business is going to happen.”
People in the room looked like they might pass out at the shock of Jodie’s words. Getting Betty to sell would mean a lot of new opportunities for the folk in town. And watching them fall at the first hurdle was hard.
To everyone’s shock, Betty just shrugged. “It was worth a try. You make a fine apprentice, lassie.”
