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“How charming. And I thought life started at forty.”
“Life only starts at forty for men.” Maureen Handy. Busybody Mother, Philosopher Extraordinaire.
“Okay, but can we reschedule? I’ve been on my feet all day and I’m exhausted.”
“At this late hour? It’s already six-thirty and he’s picking you up at seven. No, absolutely not. Nana would roll in her grave if she knew how rude you were.” Lauren heard her daddy in the background. “Is that my Sweet Tea? Hand over the phone.” There was a momentary exchanging of hands. “What’s your Momma giving you a hard time about now?” he asked.
“Dan,” she heard her mother say. “Tell Lauren that it’s simply too late to back out on her date tonight.”
“You don’t have to go on this date, Sweet Tea,” Daddy said.
“What! Dan Handy, give me back that phone!” Momma screeched. Her daddy chuckled. “Listen, you can do what you want, but think of your poor old dad stuck in this house all night, having to hear your Momma talk about your big missed opportunity.”
Lauren smiled. Her parents were truly the happiest couple she knew. Especially when they were arguing. “I’ll do it for you, Daddy. And Momma, are you there? Of course you’re there. Listen up. I’ll go on this date, but no more fixing me up, got it?”
Her momma had control of the phone again. “Believe me, tonight’s the only date you’ll need. Now, wear the diamond earrings Nana gave you and remember, just one glass of wine. Men don’t respect women who drink too much. Oh, and for God’s sake, baby girl, please don’t wear any of that strange retro stuff.”
“You mean the strange retro stuff I sell?”
“Wear the cute little black cocktail dress you wore to Daddy’s retirement party. It made you look incredibly thin, but with just the perfect amount of cleavage.”
Lauren heard a momentary scuffling and then her daddy was back on the line. “Humph. Don’t listen to her. You don’t need cleavage. Dazzle him with that pretty smile of yours and he’ll be putty in your hands.”
Her mother snatched back the phone. Lauren was beginning to feel dizzy. “Don’t forget,” Momma said. “Seven o’clock. And no costumes!”
