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“Excellent.”
He went in to kiss her, but Lauren placed her hand against his chest and slipped off his lap. “Nate, we need to talk.”
He looked wary of what she was about to say. “Okay, so talk.”
“I believe you when you say you think you don’t have feelings for Jessica anymore. But…this is all too much for me right now. You understand that, don’t you?”
“Just because Tom Donalan was an asshole, doesn’t mean I’m one, too.”
Of all the things she’d expected him to say, that hadn’t been one of them.
She stiffened. “What does this have to do with Tom?”
“I know you felt like you always came in second to Allie, but Jessica isn’t my Allie. If I wanted Jessica, I could have her. I want you.”
She glanced down at her clasped hands. He was saying everything she wanted to hear. So why was it so hard to believe him? He’d never been anything but honest with her. “I want you, too,” she said. “But I think…we need to take a step back. I can’t go forward until Jessica is completely gone from your life.”
“She is gone from my life.”
“Really? Because I thought you just told me she’s staying the night at your place. All this time, she’s had a key to your house, Nate. And what? You just forgot about it?”
“Yes, I just forgot about it.”
Lauren felt her lungs seize up. “Nate, please be honest with me. Do you still love her?”
“Absolutely not.”
“But…you did love her at one time. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have stayed together for three years, and you wouldn’t have proposed. I heard you that night at The Harbor House, remember? You got down on one knee and asked her spend the rest of her life with you. Nate, that was less than six months ago.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “What can I say? I was insane.”
“But you did love her once, right?” she persisted.
He couldn’t meet her gaze. “I suppose so. Or at least, I thought I did.”
“Then maybe you owe it to one another to talk again. To see if there’s still something there.” She hated saying it, but she cared enough for Nate to want him to be happy. Jessica was totally wrong for him, but he needed to figure that out for himself. She was nearly positive that he had figured it out, but if by some slim chance Jessica made him happy, then who was she to stand in their way? Her eyes felt suspiciously wet. Oh, no. She was going to cry again, and she didn’t want to cry in front of Nate. She wanted to be the strong, supportive friend he needed right now. Even if it killed her.
“Believe me, there’s nothing there,” he said. Maybe just a tad too vehemently.
“I think the man doth protest too much,” Lauren said softly.
“Please don’t use some bullshit Shakespearean psychology on me.”
“I’m just saying…I asked you to either get back with her, or break up with her in a way that she understood. Obviously, that didn’t happen tonight. And…I can’t live in this kind of limbo. I just can’t. We’ve only been together a few months. It’s still early enough that no one will get hurt here if we decide to end it between us.” It was such a lie. But she had to give him an out.
His face went blank. “Right. No one will get hurt.”
“So… maybe it’s best if you and Hector go somewhere else tonight. I just need some time, that’s all.
He looked at her, then nodded slowly. “All right. I’ll go to my sister’s.” He picked up Hector and turned to go and in that instant she caught a fleeting moment of true sadness in his eyes. And it made her so sad that she almost asked him to stay. But she couldn’t.
“Nate? Can I ask you a question? Do you dislike dogs?”
“Of course not. Where did that come from?”
She gave him a shaky smile. “Nowhere important.” Jessica had no clue who Nate was. Or what he felt. Or how his mind worked. All she had seen three years ago was an attractive package that she could mold into something she wanted. But she’d never taken the time to understand what it was he wanted.
She remembered the first night they made love. She had looked into his eyes and thought who are you? She hadn’t known then, but she did now.
