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"Who said you won’t fall in love? What you have to do is expose yourself to as many of the right women as possible. One of them will be the one, if you meet enough of them. Then more you meet, the more of a chance you have to find the right one."
I made a face, not enamored by the idea of hiring someone to find me a wife. Of course, I thought I had fallen in love with Christie, so what the hell did I know about love?
"Tell me about your ideal woman," Marcella said, taking out her pen and opening her notebook. "What would she be like? What about her level of education?"
I shrugged. "I guess I'd be looking for someone who has either a professional degree or a degree in the arts and sciences."
"Okay, so a degree. What else? Do you want a student or someone who had work experience?"
"I don't know," I said, folding my hands. "It really comes down to the person, not the degree or job they do."
"Yes, but Joshua, you have to meet the right women. Women of your background and values. The only way to do that is to think about your perfect woman and figure out where to meet her. I can help you with that. I have resumes of thousands of women in Manhattan. I'm sure I could sort through them and find some perfect candidates."
I thought for a moment, trying to approach it like a professional.
"I'm not so sure…"
"Give me a chance," she said. "Let me bring you a few resumes to look over. I even have headshots."
"What the hell," I said and shrugged. "Give it your best shot. It's not like I have all the time in the world to spend on dating sites or in bars."
"Good, good," Marcella said. "What about your perfect woman's politics?"
"I'd prefer someone who is independent politically, not affiliated with either political party. No need to get into political fights with me."
"That makes good sense," Marcella said. "What else do you require? Things you will not budge on. What about a family?"
"She has to want to have a family," I said and nodded. "I always thought that two kids would be perfect. Three preferably. She should want to stay home with them until they are school-aged."
"Okay, that helps. What else? Any preferences in terms of appearance?"
I shrugged. "She should be fit, a non-smoker, and attractive. I don't have any physical preferences beyond that."
"You don't care about height and weight?"
"She should be fit and attractive. That's the most important. I don't care about hair or eye color."
Marcella nodded. "Anything else you can think of at the moment? Religious affiliations? Hobbies?"
"As long as she isn't a fanatic, I'm tolerant." I leaned forward. "Look, Marcella. I really don't think you can engineer a romance. Maybe on television, but in real life, it comes down to chemistry."
"Look where chemistry got you…"
She raised her eyebrows.
I leaned back, prepared to fire her for that but then I kicked myself mentally. She was right. I had let my heart lead my head with Christie, thinking that our amazing chemistry would be enough to ensure I'd made a perfect match.
Obviously, I didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
I sighed. "She should enjoy travel. Not that I've had much opportunity to do any, but when I have a family and the children are old enough, I'll want to take them around the world. She should enjoy music and have her own preferences. Other than that, I'd like her to have some serious personal interest or hobby. I don't care what it is, as long as she's passionate about something."
"I think I could come up with a great list of candidates tomorrow, in fact."
"You really think you can find me a wife?" I said, shaking my head at the prospect. "I don't think it’s possible, but it would sure take a burden off my shoulders."
"I'm almost certain I could. I'll have one of my staff come and interview you for personality and temperament matters. Is there anything else you require in a wife?"
I shook my head. "Not really. I thought I had myself a wife but apparently, I have very bad taste in women."
