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I had to make a decision.
I paced my office, the box of manuscripts unopened on my desk. A new box had come in overnight and I had yet to finish the box I'd received from Sharon the previous day. I had no idea how many authors were out there, looking for a chance to see their book in print. They'd have to wait for I had to finish up the current crop and write up some cover for the ones I had selected to discuss with Sharon. Several dozen manuscripts lay on top of my desk. Among them were my favorite out of all the manuscripts I'd read since starting but I was only supposed to bring five.
Of course, the decision wasn't about which manuscripts to choose for my meeting in fifteen minutes.
It was whether I could afford to take an hour off to go to the Ritz-Carlton and meet with my boss for a mind-blowing fuck on a huge king-sized bed.
My body was uncomfortably warm and swollen as I stood in front of the desk and held the room key in my hand. I had to get the image of a naked Josh standing over me, his erect cock sliding in and out of my body if I hoped to speak anything more than gibberish to Sharon in the meeting I was going to in ten minutes. I put the room key into my bag and then sat back down and opened the first manuscript, going over my notes in the hopes of distracting myself from my thoughts of Josh.
Finally, my cell alarm beeped and I had to leave to go to Sharon's office. I pulled the manuscripts into one file and brought my notes along with me. For the next two hours until lunch, I sat with Sharon, drinking coffee and talking about each manuscript and why I thought they were worth considering.
Sharon seemed pleased with my choices and promised to look at each one on her own and make a decision. As I was getting ready to leave, I stopped in the doorway.
"Is it okay if I take an hour off this afternoon? I have something to pick up downtown and I'll need time. I'll work through my lunch so I won't miss any time."
"Take the rest of the afternoon off after three if you need it. You've been staying late so you're probably way ahead of the eight ball anyway. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Thanks," I said, relieved that I wouldn't have to rush back to the office after... If I decided to go, that is.
I still hadn't decided whether to go.
I got back to my office and sat down behind my desk, and while it was now lunch time, I wasn't hungry. In fact, I felt like I needed a stiff drink. I had to work up my nerve to decide one way or the other whether to go.
ELLA: What should I do?
STEPH: GO! GO DAMMIT!
ELLA: *sigh* My boss gave me the afternoon off after three, so if I want, I don't have to rush back. If I don't go to the hotel I think I may go and get a tub of ice cream and eat the whole thing alone in my tiny apartment in Chelsea.
STEPH: Going to the hotel will work off calories so if you want, go spend the night with him, and then get a tub of ice cream and eat it off his body.
ELLA: You're crazy!
STEPH: I'm hungry and haven't gone to lunch yet. I also need a man. A man or a tub of Dutch chocolate ice cream. The really good stuff. Preferably both at the same time.
ELLA: Okay, I'm going to go.
STEPH: FINALLY... good choice. You won't regret it. People regret not doing something.
ELLA: They also regret doing stupid things. What if this is stupid?
STEPH: You're attracted to him. He's attracted to you. You're both young and attractive. I don't see the issue.
ELLA: Other than he's my boss...
STEPH: Small detail.
ELLA: Rather important detail.
STEPH: Go, see how it feels to be with him. If you like it and he likes it, keep it up. If not, move on. It's simple. Only a fool would make it more difficult.
ELLA: Okay.
STEPH: Text me when you can. I'll be sitting here in my jammies eating Dutch chocolate ice cream and wishing I was in your shoes.
ELLA: I will.
STEPH: Who loves you?
