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"Yes," the black-haired woman answered. "He said he was too busy to find one himself. He needed to get married to receive instalments on an incentivized trust his father left for him. He would only get money on his wedding anniversaries. A cool twenty-five million each year. So, he asked me to find suitable women and arrange the meetings."
"That's so utilitarian. It's disgusting, really, when you think about it. I never would have thought of Joshua like that."
"He's a business man, in the end. He said he was too busy for romance, but he needed that twenty-five million dollars to help his paper get off the ground running. The boys all thought they'd get a one-fifth share of the fortune, which would have been close to two billion each, but no. His father didn't believe in inherited wealth. He wanted them to work for their own fortunes."
"That sucks," Sharon replied.
I stood in the darkness of the hallway and felt like my blood had turned to ice. Josh hired the headhunter to find him a wife so he could get twenty-five million dollars? He was willing to have me as his little fuck buddy while he looked for a real wife?
As much as I didn't plan on getting married any time soon, it hurt me to think that I wasn't good enough for him to consider as a potential wife. In fact, I felt like I was going to cry.
I left the hallway and went to the staff washroom and did just that. While I cried, I realized that I didn't want to just have a dirty fling with h
andsome and wealthy bachelors like Josh. I wanted something real.
While I sat on the toilet and wiped tears away, I texted Josh.
ELLA: I'm sorry I can't come with you to Bali, but I just can't do casual sex. I need something more. Something deeper. I was with my ex for years and I realize that I'm on the rebound and you can't trust yourself when your heart has been broken. But the last two weeks have shown me that I just can't do meaningless but pleasurable. I'm worth more than that. Good luck with your life but it's better this way.
My finger hovered over the send button. Did I really want to do it? Josh told me that he was down on romance because of his bad experiences, but he was willing to hire a headhunter to find him a wife so he could get married for money.
It just didn't seem like the man I had come to know over the past few weeks, but I had to admit that if he really was trying to find a wife so he could get his first instalment and was happy to use me as a fuckbuddy until he met a woman good enough to be his wife, I couldn't be with him.
I tapped send and then went back to my office and sent a message to Sharon that I didn't feel like coffee or a donut and to go ahead without me.
Then I cried my eyes out alone in my office.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Josh
I read over her text several times, rubbing my jaw and trying to figure out what happened to change her mind.
ELLA: I'm sorry I can't come with you to Bali, but I just can't do casual sex. I need something more. Something deeper. I was with my ex for years and I realize that I'm on the rebound and you can't trust yourself when your heart has been broken. But the last two weeks have shown me that I just can't do meaningless but pleasurable. I'm worth more than that. Good luck with your life but it's better this way.
She was turning me down. I'd thought after our little rendezvous in the photocopier room that she was interested in more, but apparently, she'd changed her mind. Her excuse was that she was on the rebound and couldn't trust herself. In the end, she realized she couldn't do casual sex. She was worth more than that.
She was.
She was definitely worth more than causal sex.
I texted her right back.
JOSH: You're right. You are worth more than that. I only know I want to be with you, anyway I can get you. If that's not enough for you, I understand. I want meaningful as well but you can't know in advance how a relationship will develop. I'm more than willing to see where our relationship goes, and won't put any requirements on it. If it develops into more, I'll be happy. If you decide it's not enough, I'll be sad, but that's always your decision. Just don't end it before it really even begins.
Give me – give us – a chance.
Then I sent it and waited for her response.
Nothing.
I put my cell away and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to keep my mind off her and the question of what made her change her mind so suddenly. She had spoken of how down she was on marriage and how she needed to pursue her career and give that all her attention. What happened between the time I saw her last and earlier when she sent that text?
I spent the evening in a funk, trying to distract myself from thoughts of Ella but failing spectacularly.
Later that night, while I was lying in bed in the darkness, unable to stop thinking of what happened with Ella, I pulled out my cell and sent her another text.
JOSH: If the world was fair, you and I would be having text sex right now…
