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"I will. Sorry about this, Josh, but it’s the law."
"I know," I said and ended the call, feeling an urge to smash something.
I sat in the silence of my office for a few moments, trying to calm myself. I knew what I had to do. I had to go right down and tell Ella. I'd made a promise to be totally honest with her about everything.
I wasn't going to break that promise now, even if I was pretty sure the whole business would amount to nothing.
I took the elevator down to her floor and after saying hello to the receptionist, I went back to Ella's office. She had her head buried in a manuscript and glanced up almost in a daze when I knocked on the open door.
"Can I come in?" I asked and entered the office, my hand on the doorknob. "We need to talk. In private."
"Sure," she said and blinked, pushing the manuscript away. "Come in. Close the door."
I closed it and went over to her, kissing her and stroking her cheek.
"What's the matter?" she asked, her eyes wide. "Is it bad news? You look grim."
I leaned on the desk beside her and took her hand. "I have something to tell you. It's going to be upsetting."
"Josh, you're scaring me."
"I don't mean to, but something happened." I hesitated, not knowing how to phrase it. I decided to just come out and say it point blank. "A woman I had sex with in the summer before we met has petitioned to force me to do a paternity test."
Her mouth dropped open and she glanced away, not saying anything.
Finally, she looked back into my eyes. "Is this possible? Do you think you might be the father?"
I shook my head. "I used a condom both times we had sex, but there was a moment when she kind of got on top of me before I put one on. There was maybe," I said and held out my finger and thumb an inch apart, "maybe a small bit of penetration before. I stopped her and put on the condom, but my lawyer tells me that there is a very small chance I am the father if so."
"Oh, Josh, I'm so sorry..."
I exhaled. "Me, too."
Ella stood and slipped her arms around my neck, leaning against me, her face beside mine. We kissed warmly and then she pulled back.
"Whatever happens, I'm with you. If it's your child, you have to do what's right."
"Thank you," I said, feeling relieved she was being so supportive right away. "I was afraid you'd be really mad."
"How could I be mad? I've been reckless before and could have become pregnant. I was just lucky a couple of times when, you know, Jerkface and I had unprotected sex. So, who am I to judge?"
"You and Derek had unprotected sex?"
She widened her eyes. "A couple of times when we both drank too much, yes. But don't worry. I've been tested for STDs and I'm clean."
"I didn't even think of that," I said. "Thank you for being so understanding."
She kissed me and ran her hand through my hair. "Whatever happens, we're in this together, right?"
"We are," I said.
"As long as you don't replace me with her, I don't care."
"Never," I said and pulled her more tightly against me.
I held her in my arms and hoped that the test would be negative. I couldn't wait to get it done and put it all behind us.
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