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I was determined not to let the haters win.
* * *
That weekend, a blizzard hit the whole eastern seaboard as the Polar Vortex swept down and engulfed the region in a blast of cold air. Josh and I stayed in the penthouse and watched sports and new movies on Apple TV. I had my period and was somewhat crampy, so I drank extra red wine, which seemed to lessen my cramps. It wasn't a very sexy weekend for us, but luckily, we got some loving in the previous week. Both of us had needed extra affection and sexual release, probably due to the stress of the coming paternity test. On Sunday night, we snuggled on the sofa and I finished my second glass of red wine.
"You getting drunk tonight, are you?" Josh asked as he poured me more.
"Drowning my cramps," I said and held up my glass in a toast. He held up his bottle of beer and we clinked together.
"I'll join you and drown my sorrows in beer."
"What sorrows could you possibly have, Mr. Macintyre?"
"Other than fears that I'm an accidental father, you mean?"
"You have me," I said, my brain feeling a bit fuzzy from two big glasses of wine. "You have a new penthouse apartment that will be renovated according to your preferences. You have a newspaper that you are re-creating from the ground up. You're set to get access to several million dollars as soon as we get married with which you can hire even more staff and make the Chronicle even better."
"You're right," Josh said and leaned back, his head against the back of the sofa, his eyes closed. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and then turned his head to look in my eyes. "I'm damn lucky and I know it. This glitch, even if it turns out bad, is just a small speck on an otherwise-wonderful life." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back at his large blue eyes, which were warm. "I love you, Ella."
I leaned closer, my arm around on the back of the sofa. "I love you, Josh. Whatever happens this week, we're in this together."
"We are," he said, and we kissed. "That means the world to me. I want us to be totally honest with each other and open with everything -- every fear and doubt and worry."
"And every bit of happiness, too," I said, remembering Maryanne's words from the day I met with her.
"Yes, every bit of happiness. We have every right to be over the moon," he said and rubbed my cheek. "No matter what happens with the test, you're everything I could have ever dreamed of in a partner."
I smiled and kissed him again, my heart swelling with happiness.
Then, I remembered my discussions with Maryanne and decided it was time to tell Josh what happened. I didn't want to get Krista in trouble, but he did want me to be completely honest. It was something that had upset me so if I wanted to remain true to our pledge to each other, I had to come clean.
"There's something I've been meaning to talk with you about and now is as good a time as any," I said and played with the collar on his t-shirt.
"What's up?" he asked, his brow furrowing. "Something wrong at work?"
I shrugged, wanting to downplay it. "Nothing, really. Just something someone said to me after a meeting. This other employee suggested that I got the job as an editorial assistant because of my connection to you. It upset me so I went to see Maryanne in HR to talk about the usual qualifications for the position."
"And?" Josh said, his eyebrows raised. "I'm sure Maryanne set you straight."
"She did. She said that I was more than qualified as an editorial assistant, especially after working for Dominion for six months."
"Exactly," Josh said and pulled me closer. "We're lucky to have you. Don't ever doubt yourself. You went to Dartmouth. That's choice. You edited the literary journal. You're even published. When Sharon hired you, she told me she'd snagged a real gem. She was right."
He kissed me and I couldn't help but feel warmth well up inside of me at his words.
"In fact, she wasn't the only one to find a gem. I found one, too. It cost me scraped elbows and knees, but it was worth every moment of pain."
He smiled and held my gaze, and I teared up at the sentiment. "What would have happened if I didn't jaywalk that first day? I might never have met you in a way that would lead to us becoming instantly intimate."
"I know. Twists of fate are amazing. I'm glad we had ours or life would have been completely different. I would have been trying to find a partner using Marcella's service and being disappointed with every person I met. I would have been going to clubs and bars with Keith and company, trying to meet Ms. Right and failing because unless you were there, she wouldn't be Ms. Right."
"Do you really believe that?" I asked, feeling uncertain, although I was flattered. "Do you really believe you would still be single?"
"No one has compared to you," Josh said and pulled me into his arms, so that I lay across his lap, my arms around his neck. "No one could. You're everything I want. Everything I need. It's like you were made for me. Perfect fit."
I smiled and closed my eyes
when he kissed my neck. "You're everything to me and everything I could dream of."
