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LUKE: I'm glad you didn't decide to throw me over.
ALEXA: I almost did.
LUKE: I know. You shouldn't. We should enjoy what we have while we can. Life is short. People die.
ALEXA: They do. Goodnight.
LUKE: Goodnight.
I put my cell away and finished brushing my teeth, a smile on my face. I glanced at myself in the mirror and focused on the little thrill that went through my body at the thought of the other things, very enjoyable things, that I knew we would get to tomorrow night. It had been so long since I'd had a boyfriend and had real sex. Well, Luke wasn't technically a boyfriend, but he was a lover.
I had a lover.
I smiled to myself and finished getting ready for bed. When I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, I saw that Candace was still up, dressed in her nightgown and reading her emails, her knee bent up under her chin.
I sat on my chair beside hers.
”I have a lover," I said to her as I unscrewed the bottle and took a long drink.
She turned and glanced at me, grinning crazily.
"You do," she said and pushed me playfully. "You have a lover. It's so exciting! Finally, my girl is getting some. You deserve it."
"I do deserve it."
"After all you went through with Blaine, you deserve someone like Luke."
I nodded and of course, thoughts of Blaine ruined my good feeling about Luke. The two could not be further apart in temperament, which was probably why I was attracted to Luke.
Luke was so easy-going and laid back, despite being a very successful businessman. He could have fun and laugh, while Blaine seemed to be in a perpetual somber mood. I always thought it was because he was deep, but I realized instead that he was always on guard, looking for every slight to his ego.
He was a control freak. He had to control everything. Me, especially.
I'd been easy to control at first, because I was so in love with him and his handsome face and great body, plus what I perceived to be his deep thoughts and intelligence. When things started to sour between us, when I realized he wasn't all that deep after all, but was just quietly observing everything so he could measure how people treated him against his high standard, I started to assert my independence.
He never once hit me, although he did grab me a couple of times, held me still while he lectured me on this or that infraction I'd done against his rules. When I broke it off with him, he wou
ldn’t take no for an answer and it wasn't just him pleading with me, telling me he loved me. He started to stalk me and then he attacked me.
"You're mine, no matter what you do, Alexa," he said. "You can have your freedom for a while, if you want, but remember that I own you. I own a part of you that can never be owned by someone else. You can't ever really leave me completely, no matter what you do and where you go. I'll always be here," he said and pointed to my head. "And here," he said, his hand grabbing my crotch.
I thought he meant he was my first lover and that meant he owned my virginity. He saw that as ownership of a part of me. I figured he was just being weird and thought nothing of it. But I was wrong.
For the first couple of weeks after we broke up, he let me be, and I thought I was a free woman once again and glad to be free of him and his suspicious and controlling ways. But soon, I noticed he was following me. I'd catch sight of his car following mine down the main street. I'd see him enter the little café where we used to eat our lunch. He'd catch my eye and then pick up food to take out. I'd go to a party and he'd show up later, walk through the party, talk to a few people and then leave.
I couldn't fault him because it was such a small town and there were only so many places either of us could go. Besides, my places were all his places as well.
So at first, I thought it was just coincidence that we ran into each other or I saw him at places where I went.
But later, I realized he was deliberately stalking me.
One night, I took the dog for a walk and saw his car parked at the end of our street. I turned the other way and went back home.
"Why are you back so early?" my mother asked, frowning when she saw me.
"Blaine's car is parked at the end of the street," I said softly, not wanting to alarm her, but feeling nervous myself. "I'm going to take Molly out the back."
I took my dog out the back way to the alley behind our house and walked her there instead, but the alley was dark and I felt immediately creepy. Molly was used to going out before bed and I didn’t want to deny her a walk just because I was spooked by Blaine. He might have been visiting someone, after all…
