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"Mr. and Mrs. Marshall?"
I stood up and smiled. "Yes."
"Please follow me."
Luke stood and took my hand and together, we followed the young woman to the back of the building to a darkened room with a bed and a bank of equipment. I recognized the ultrasound machine from having one done once during a check on my ovaries, when I had severe pain and we were worried I had an ectopic pregnancy, but it was just a muscle pull.
I laid on the bed and pulled up my top and lowered the waistband of my yoga pants so that my belly was bare.
She tucked some paper into my waistband and under my top, then told us how the procedure would go. She placed some warmed gel on my belly and then began the scan, swiping the wand over my belly to visualize my uterus.
Right away, we could hear the heartbeat and I was ecstatic.
"There it is," the technician said.
I glanced over at the screen, scared at first at what I'd see just in case there was anything wrong.
There wasn't. I was shocked at how well they could visualize the baby, but it was a 3-D ultrasound. It actually looked like a very skinny and small baby.
"Oh, my God," I said and felt tears spring to my eyes.
Luke squeezed my hand.
"Did you want to know the sex?" the technician asked.
"Yes," I said. "We don't care what it is, but it's still nice to know."
She did some maneuvering with her wand until she was able to get it in the right place to visualize the genitals.
"It's a boy," she said.
I glanced at Luke, who smiled widely. "Leif."
"Leif," I said and wiped my eyes.
On the drive home, I called Candace to let her know.
"So," she said, her voice sounding excited and a bit frustrated when I talked about everything but the results. "Is it Brenna or Leif?"
"Leif," I said and smiled at her scream of joy.
"Oh, my God, Alexa! I'm so happy for you. A little boy... Luke must be over the moon about it, right?"
"He said he didn't care which it was. He had a twin sister growing up so he understands girls a bit better than your average bear, but having a son would be great as well. I always thought parents were lying when they claimed they didn't care whether it was a boy or girl, but now I understand. All you care about is whether it's healthy. That's all."
"Did you get pictures? Tell me you got pictures..."
"We got a couple of print outs and the technician said they would send us both a video and some images in an email so we could show our families. Part of me wants to hold back until the third trimester before posting anything, just in case..."
"In case what? You can't live that way. There is no jinxing, Alexa. I would think you're enough of a scientist to understand that."
"I know, but still..."
I chewed my thumbnail because I still had this crazy superstition that being so happy about the baby -- about Leif -- could jinx the rest of my pregnancy and something might go wrong.
"Don't be like that," she said, her voice firm. "You have to try to enjoy every day because none of us know, babe, whether we have any more of them. None of us. I learned that the hard way. As much as I hate that sonofabitch of a Blaine, he taught me one thing. Enjoy each day. It might be your last. So, enjoy this. Post the pictures. Be happy about it. Let others be happy for you and with you. There will be pain ahead of all of us at some point and nothing we do today can stop that from happening. Take life as it comes, one day at a time."
"You're right," I said, knowing she knew what she was talking about, having almost lost her life when Blaine pushed her onto the rails. "I'll post them, and I'll enjoy every moment of it. Especially now that my morning sickness is gone."
