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I shrugged, lifting one shoulder. "I had never thought of those punishments as sexual in nature. They always seemed to be about humiliating me, and making me hurt. Punishing me for doing anything that might be sexual in nature."
"They were sexual," Hunter said. "Even if he didn't touch you in any place that’s usually defined as sexual."
"Why are we talking about this?" I asked, frustrated and embarrassed. "Unless you tell me why, I'm not saying anything else."
"Let's just say I heard some things. I was told some things. I'm doing a bit of sleuthing to find out more. That's really all I can say without getting in trouble."
I thought back to Spencer and his punishments. "He hated me right from the start," I said, my voice breaking. "He never hid it."
"Did you talk to your mom about him? Did she know the things he did?"
I frowned. "My mom was too drugged out to see. She was always in the bedroom sleeping, or on the couch snoozing. She was happy to have Spencer there to discipline us because she couldn't do anything. When I complained, she just told us to be obedient if we wanted Spencer to treat us nicely."
"Did he ever do anything else you can think of that might be sexual? Did he ever expose himself to you? Did he ever show you pornography?"
I frowned. "No," I said. "Nothing like that. He was so uptight about sex, I thought he was a real prude about it. When my friends came over for sleepovers, he was pretty standoffish. I don't think I ever saw him naked. He barely even wore a bathing suit when we were on vacation—not that we went very often anyway, because of my mother."
He nodded. "She's been pretty sick all this time," he said softly.
"She sleeps most of the time unless she's watching television or reading. There's nothing the doctors can do for her pain. She has a pain pump and is pretty much an invalid."
Hunter sighed and leaned back, running his hand through his hair.
"Why are you asking all this?"
He shrugged and glanced away. "I wondered if he was abusive sexually as well as physically and emotionally abusive. Creeps like him often are." He stared at his knuckles, which were now healing up from the beating he administered to Stepan. "Guys like Spencer take advantage of their power over children. It's an easy step into taking advantage sexually so I was concerned." He glanced up like he was trying to see if I believed him.
"You know something," I said, getting this sense from him that he was fishing because he had something on Spencer. "Tell me."
Hunter shook his head. "I can't, but he's a piece of work."
"I already know that," I said ruefully. "Graham and I know that all too well, but you must know something if you're asking me questions about him."
"If I do, I can't say what. I'm really sorry about all of it," Hunter said, his voice soft, his eyes soft as well. "You and Graham… you both suffered so much all those years. It must have been hell."
I lifted a shoulder. It was hell, but it was normal for us when Spencer took over.
"I rebelled, and Graham tried to be the good older brother and protect me, but it only got him in more trouble. Spencer doesn't like his authority to be questioned."
/> "I guess that's why he wants to be the authority. What a fucking bastard."
"That he is." I sighed. "So, why is it that the first thing you ask when you come back after being away for a week is a question about Spencer?"
"I just know things," Hunter said. "I'll tell you when I can. It's about his past, before he met your mother. When he lived in Alexandria. That’s really all I can say."
"All right," I said and leaned back, watching him. He seemed preoccupied.
Then, he stood up and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. "Well, that's really all I wanted to ask you other than how Graham's doing."
I took in a breath and exhaled. "Pretty well, all things considered. He's going to be in rehab for a few weeks. Then physiotherapy for a while. He's really thankful that you paid off his debts, and wants you to know he'll try to pay you back when he's back on his feet."
Hunter nodded. "Tell him not to worry about it. If and when he can pay me back, that's fine. Tell him to get better. That’s all I care about."
I looked at him closely, trying to see if he really meant it or was just going through the motions. "That's nice of you, Hunter. I know he's really relieved that he didn’t have to go to Spencer. Not that Spencer could have paid off the debt, but you know what I mean."
Hunter nodded. He glanced around and sighed. "I better go. George will be with you tonight. If you need anything, he can help you."
"Thanks," I said, but of course, I didn’t really feel all that happy having to be a prisoner of the safe house.
