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I had no idea what my limits were. I knew what scared me – pain. I knew what I couldn't accept. Humiliation. I could never go to either place. I would never agree to either.
I was aroused by the idea of bondage. Leather? Restraints? They excited me. The thought of Drake tying me up and then doing things to me with his hands, his mouth, his cock, making me come the way the Dom in those letters described – I could take restraints, I could handle a blindfold. Not a gag – I had this thing about breathing because I had asthma as a child.
Spanking? I didn't know about that.
It sounded too much like the way you treated a bad child. I read about how pain was just another sensation that enhanced sexual response, but there had never been once in my life when pain led to sexual arousal so I concluded it was just not in me. Luckily, Lara assured me that Drake was not into pain. He was more into bondage and dominance. Mind-fucking, Lara called it.
I inhaled deeply and tried to calm myself, for my heart was racing a bit too fast because of everything. My hands shook just a bit, and I felt as if I couldn't catch my breath.
I had to leave. I had to get out of there.
I stood and grabbed my bag.
"Excuse me," I managed to whisper as I crept past Drake to the aisle and out of our box seats to the hallway. I gasped when I was finally away from them, from him and leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath.
I started walking and found a side exit. I left the building completely, standing outside in the November chill, my arms bare, but the cool air felt good on my skin. I leaned against the building and stared straight up into the sky. It was clear with a few faint stars peeking through Manhattan's light pollution.
The door opened beside me. Drake…
Damn him.
"Kate, what on Earth are you doing out here? It's freezing out, for God's sake."
He grabbed my arm, but I pulled free and stood my ground. My knees were too shaky to try to walk away, so I just stayed where I was, leaning against the wall, my arms wrapped around me.
"Just leave me. I need some air."
I closed my eyes, for they were starting to tear up again and I hated myself for being so weak. For being a stupid female in front of him. I bit my lip until it hurt and blinked rapidly, turning my face away from him.
He removed his suit jacket, leaving him in his crisp white shirt and black tie. Then, he manhandled me, pulling me away from the wall, wrapping me in his jacket, which smelled of him and was so warm. He tightened it around me, his face dark.
"There," he said and then he tipped my face up so that I had to look in his eyes. I tried to avoid him as if he was some kind of drug, for he was, and I was weak…
Our eyes finally met and I felt this jolt of something go through me from my chest to my groin.
"Oh, fuck, Kate," he said almost groaning. He pressed against me, his hips pinning me to the wall, his arms on the bricks beside my head. He kissed me, and it wasn’t the kiss he gave me earlier in the concert hall, soft and tender. It was passionate, his mouth harsh against mine, his lips parting, his tongue finding mine, searching my mouth. One hand slipped behind my head, the other tangled in my hair, which he pulled out of its clip so that it fell around my shoulders.
The kiss went on and on, my heart racing, his thigh jammed between mine. He dropped his hand to my breasts, his fingers caressing the tops of them, his mouth moving to my neck beneath my ear, his tongue wet against my skin. When his hand moved lower to hike up my skirt, his hand stroking my leg up as if in search of garters, I emerged from the lust-filled stupor.
"Drake, no…"
He stopped, his breath coming in short harsh gasps.
"Tell me you don't want me," he said, his voice low.
I glanced away, for his eyes scared me. I couldn't say I didn't want him. My body betrayed me. I was wet and swollen and my heart pounded.
"I thought so," he said and started kissing me again, roughly, his hand on my thigh, then around between my legs, his fingers searching me, pressing against me, the pressure firm against my clit, then lower. "Oh, you're already wet," he whispered, and he made this sound in his throat like a moan. "Fuck, I want you right here, right now." He pressed his hips against me and I felt his erection against my groin.
He kissed me again, and I kissed him back, unable to resist any longer. He tried to get his hand into my pantyhose, dipping down beneath my panties to find m
y clit and it was then that I shocked back to awareness. He had his hand between my thighs, his fingers between my lips, almost inside of me. I pulled away and pushed against him.
"Stop!"
He stopped, pulling his fingers away, his hand out from between us, but he leaned with his elbows against the wall, effectively keeping me from escape.
"What?" he said, panting.
