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He shook his head. "When you're vulnerable, your true feelings come out. It's when you're feeling strong that you're able to hide them. Look, Kate," he said and took my chin in his hand. "There's something between us. I felt it. You felt it. Pure sexual attraction. You want to try submission – I know you do. You want to try it with me. Why fight it?"
He let go of my chin and I glanced away. "You’re so blunt."
"I have to be blunt. I have to tell you the truth about how I feel and what I want and what I can give. You have to be completely open with me about what you desire. You have to feel complete trust in me in order to really let go."
"I feel like you're pushing me. I don't like being pressured."
"Kate," he said, turning my face back to him. "This is all about you. People think that it's the Dominant who has all the control – and he does, once they're in scene, but to get to that point, it's all about the sub. Her limits. You have all the control. You dictate the terms. I fulfill them. You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you, if that's holding you back. I'm not going to reveal anything about this to anyone. It's just between you and me – and Lara of course. She's not going to let anything slip. She's totally professional. All I really want," he said and leaned closer, staring at my mouth, before deliberately moving up to my eyes. "All I really want is to do whatever it is you need so I can make you come, over and over again. Is that so bad?"
He licked his lips and I thought – what a manipulative bastard he is. This was one of his mindfucks, him knowing exactly what to say to get me aroused.
"If it's all about me, then let me decide on the pace."
"I will," he said. "This is just me trying to assure you that I want you. You don't have to worry about that part of things. This is now all up to you. Like I said, I'm sending you a revised agreement with my preferences later tonight when I get back to my apartment, but if you've read my letters, you already know most of it. I want you to strike off what you don't want to try and include everything you do want. Then we can negotiate."
"How soon would you," I said and hesitated. "Usually start things?"
"We can have sex right away, if you want." He stared into my eyes. "Tonight. But it will take time before you're ready for the bondage. I won't move too fast for you. You'll decide when we start."
"So, we just go somewhere and have sex?"
"My place or yours?" He smiled. "Kate, have you never just had casual sex with anyone? A one-night stand?"
I shook my head. "No. I've always known them first. Dated. Never sex on a first date or a one night stand."
"You've never wanted to fuck a man you just met?"
I glanced away, playing with the cutlery. "I've been attracted to men I've met, but I can't just have sex with someone right away."
"Why not?"
"Because," I said, frowning. "This is embarrassing."
"Kate, you have to be honest. You have to get over your shyness with me. Tell me. Why can't you just fuck me tonight?"
I took in a deep breath. "It's so …intimate." I shook my head, shivering at the thought of just having sex with a stranger. "Being naked with someone? Letting them touch your skin? Opening your legs to them? Letting them inside your body? It's so … you're so …vulnerable."
I looked in his eyes. He was a man. He couldn't understand.
"Thank you for being honest."
He leaned in and kissed me softly, his mouth covering mine. I let him. He pulled back when the waitress came with our soup.
"What happened here?" he said, touching my bottom lip with a finger, running it over the small scar where one tooth pierced my lip.
"I fell when I was a kid."
"Don’t tell me – wearing your mother's high heels during a dress-up game?"
I shook my head, fighting to hold back my smile. "Stilts."
"Stilts? You?" He grinned at that and I couldn't help but smile back, but then I turned my head away.
We ate the rich earthy borscht – the best I'd ever eaten.
"So," he said, spooning some sour cream into my soup, "tell me about flyboy."
"How do you know about him?"
