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"Oh, you have to admit to things like that with me, Kate. I have to know these things. You are a little kinky after all. A dildo? How big? What color?"
I bit my lip and turned my face away, not able to look him in the eye.
"Come on, tell me!"
"I looked it up on Google," I said, stifling a laugh, covering my mouth. "It's flesh colored and called," I said, breaking out in giggles. "Mr. Big."
He laughed out loud at that. "Well, then, I'm perfect for you!"
We laughed together for a few minutes, me giggling almost uncontrollably, tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard, relieved that he wasn't horrified. All my anxiety seemed to dissipate with the laughter.
"So, tell me details," he said, pulling me back up so that I sat straddling his hips in his embrace. "When did you start using it? Was it before or after flyboy? How often do you use it?"
"Drake!" My face was so hot from embarrassment. "I can't talk about this!"
"Oh, yes you can. You must. This is like Pandora's Box. Once you mention it, you have to tell me everything. Did you use it before or after flyboy?"
I sighed. "After," I said, remembering. "My friend's bachelorette party about eight months ago. We all got one. It was a Carrie Sex in the City party."
"And? Details. Come on."
I shrugged my shoulder a bit. "I tried it, but it was too big. So I just kind of played with it a bit. You know…"
"No, I don’t know. You have to describe it."
"I can't…"
"I'll make you show me right now if you don't tell me," he said.
"No way!" I shook my head. "I do just what you did. You know, just playing around a bit outside, going in a bit but not too deep at first… Eventually, I got the hang of it and I think I found my G-Spot."
"You sure did get the hang of it."
He pulled me against him and took in a deep breath, kissing my neck. "Oh, sweet Kate, don't be embarrassed about that. You don't have any idea how much men want to learn something like that about their lover."
"It's embarrassing."
"Oh, no, baby. There isn’t a heterosexual man alive who'd think less of you if he knew. In fact, he'd be pleased that you can come from his dick alone. That's not all that common."
"I wanted to be able to. It frustrated me that I couldn’t. I only used to be able to through oral and it felt like there was something wrong with me. So when I got Big, I decided to try…"
He smiled and stroked my cheek. "You call it Big?"
"After Big on Sex and the City. Carrie's boyfriend. We used to joke with each othe
r about it. Has Big visited you lately?" I said, raising my eyebrows suggestively. " How's Big doing? Still such an upright kinda guy? Still as reliable as ever? Never lets a girl down." I smiled sheepishly. "That kind of thing."
He laughed and then pulled me against him, and I could feel him smiling against my neck, his cheek raising. We sat like that for a few minutes, not speaking, just basking in the post-laughing jag high that released all my anxiety over coming so fast.
"Come," he said and pulled me back into the bedroom and I was certain that he was going to fuck me, finish the job, but instead, he pulled me onto the bed and under the covers. Then he pulled me on top of him so that I lay on his body.
I waited for him to do something but he didn't, just held me, stroking my hair, his other hand stroking the skin on my back.
"You don't want to…"
"To what?"
"You know…"
