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"I have to learn your body like it was my own because I want to own it. You have to get used to taking orders from me. You have to get used to me controlling your response. I watched you get closer and closer with what I did to you so I could learn to judge when you're no longer able to hold back. I watched your body and your face. I listened to your breathing for how erratic it became when you started to come, watched your skin for how it flushed when you were ready, saw your nipples as they puckered when your orgasm started, how your belly tightened as your muscles tensed. They're all clues that let me know how you're feeling, how you're responding to each thing I do to you. Eventually, I'll be able to tell you're close without you having to tell me. But you'll still have to ask permission. I want to control your orgasms, Kate. It's my kink."
I nodded. He wanted me to be completely in his control. To give up my will to him so he could make me do what he wanted. He wanted to make me come, not just accidentally during sex, but purposely.
I closed my eyes and just lay beneath him, bliss filling me, my arms and legs heavy. I didn't have to do anything except respond. I didn't have to think. I didn't have to worry. I didn’t have to try to do anything.
It was liberating.
"I want your every orgasm to be mine."
"Why?" I said, opening my eyes.
He just stared at me, shaking his head.
"Why does it matter?" he said, his face serious. "I just do. There's no big mystery. It gets me off. When I really feel your complete submission, that moment when I know you are completely mine, it will be," he said, pausing as if searching for the right words. "Bliss."
"Bliss," I said, wondering what bliss felt like, but pretty sure it felt close to what I felt when I was in the throes of my orgasm.
"Hopefully, when you do submit completely, you'll feel it, too."
"I thought I did."
He smiled. "No, not even close. We're just starting, Kate. I have to learn every inch of you. I have to learn all your little kinks. All the things that send you over. I have to feel you give more and more control to me. Unquestioning. You have to do things without a thought and you're still thinking. It will take a while. But it will be so worth it for us both."
He kissed the tops of my breasts where I was burnt and laid his head on them, his breath warm on my nipple.
I couldn't imagine it getting any better than this.
To my surprise, we didn't fuck again. I thought he intended to make me come three times, and I began to wonder if he didn't use his sex talk as a way to ramp up my desire. I smiled to myself as I lay in his arms in the dark once we'd both brushed our teeth and crawled under the covers. He knew how to work me up.
I was also surprised that he decided to stay with me.
"Why are you sleeping here with me?" I asked, when he snuggled against me, his arms around me, one hand under my breast as if he was feeling my pulse. "I thought you'd go back to your own room."
He was quiet for a moment. "I thought I'd stay with you tonight, make sure you're all right after the day you had. You've got a bad sunburn, and you had a touch of heat stroke."
"So you're in charitable doctor mode?"
He kissed my shoulder. "Something like that." He said nothing for a moment, but then he sighed. "To tell you the truth, I've gone a bit off the reservation, so to speak."
I rolled over onto my back and looked at his face in the darkness. I could just make out his cheekbones and a glint in his eyes from a sliver of light from under the curtains.
"Off the reservation?"
"I've broken my own rules with you."
"How?"
He stroked his hand over my shoulder and down my arm. "I told you. I keep things in their own place. I don't like them to mix."
"Why? Were you one of those kids who kept their food on separate parts of the plate, not letting them touch?"
He chuckled for a moment. Then he was quiet and I just listened to him breathe.
"It gets messy."
"What gets messy?"
"Katherine…" He kissed my forehead. "Is this twenty questions?"
